Would You Have Had the Guts When You Were Ten???

I wasn't going to post a personal blog today. I've already done a food blog. I've baked some savory cheddar scones. I've run enough old papers through the shredder to fill four large garbage bags. And, on top of it, I've had a low grade fever and a headache all day and I keep forgetting to take aspirin.

So while my scones were cooling, I thought I would read some news sites I don't venture to very often and I came across the following story about an amazing 10-year-old boy.

What was I like when I was 10-years-old? I think I was more interested in playing tether ball. I couldn't wait to get home to watch the Mickey Mouse Club, after which I would ride my bike until just about dark. I was more interested in recess and dodge ball and fitting in than standing up for myself and my beliefs, or any body elses for that matter. I don't remember a lot about being 10-years-old, but what I do remember doesn't come any near to resembling this:

A Boy and His Flag
by David Koon, Updated: 11/11/2009, Arkansas Times

Will Phillips isn't like other boys his age.

For one thing, he's smart. Scary smart. A student in the West Fork School District in Washington County, he skipped a grade this year, going directly from the third to the fifth. When his family goes for a drive, discussions are much more apt to be about Teddy Roosevelt and terraforming Mars than they are about Spongebob Squarepants and what's playing on Radio Disney.

It was during one of those drives that the discussion turned to the pledge of allegiance and what it means. Laura Phillips is Will's mother. “Yes, my son is 10,” she said. “But he's probably more aware of the meaning of the pledge than a lot of adults. He's not just doing it rote recitation. We raised him to be aware of what's right, what's wrong, and what's fair.”

Will's family has a number of gay friends. In recent years, Laura Phillips said, they've been trying to be a straight ally to the gay community, going to the pride parades and standing up for the rights of their gay and lesbian neighbors. They've been especially dismayed by the effort to take away the rights of homosexuals – the right to marry, and the right to adopt. Given that, Will immediately saw a problem with the pledge of allegiance.

“I've always tried to analyze things because I want to be lawyer,” Will said. “I really don't feel that there's currently liberty and justice for all.”

After asking his parents whether it was against the law not to stand for the pledge, Will decided to do something. On Monday, Oct. 5, when the other kids in his class stood up to recite the pledge of allegiance, he remained sitting down. The class had a substitute teacher that week, a retired educator from the district, who knew Will's mother and grandmother. Though the substitute tried to make him stand up, he respectfully refused. He did it again the next day, and the next day. Each day, the substitute got a little more cross with him. On Thursday, it finally came to a head. The teacher, Will said, told him that she knew his mother and grandmother, and they would want him to stand and say the pledge.

“She got a lot more angry and raised her voice and brought my mom and my grandma up,” Will said. “I was fuming and was too furious to really pay attention to what she was saying. After a few minutes, I said, ‘With all due respect, ma'am, you can go jump off a bridge.' ”

Will was sent to the office, where he was given an assignment to look up information about the flag and what it represents. Meanwhile, the principal called his mother.

“She said we have to talk about Will, because he told a sub to jump off a bridge,” Laura Phillips said. “My first response was: Why? He's not just going to say this because he doesn't want to do his math work.”

Eventually, Phillips said, the principal told her that the altercation was over Will's refusal to stand for the pledge of allegiance, and admitted that it was Will's right not to stand. Given that, Laura Phillips asked the principal when they could expect an apology from the teacher. “She said, ‘Well I don't think that's necessary at this point,' ” Phillips said.

After Phillips put a post on the instant-blogging site twitter.com about the incident, several of her friends got angry and alerted the news media. Meanwhile, Will Phillips still refuses to stand during the pledge of allegiance. Though many of his friends at school have told him they support his decision, those who don't have been unkind, and louder.

“They [the kids who don't support him] are much more crazy, and out of control and vocal about it than supporters are.”

Given that his protest is over the rights of gays and lesbians, the taunts have taken a predictable bent. “In the lunchroom and in the hallway, they've been making comments and doing pranks, and calling me gay,” he said. “It's always the same people, walking up and calling me a gaywad.”

Even so, Will said that he can't foresee anything in the near future that will make him stand for the pledge. To help him deal with the peer pressure, his parents have printed off posts in his support on blogs and websites. “We've told him that people here might not support you, but we've shown him there are people all over that support you,” Phillips said. “It's really frustrating to him that people are being so immature.”

At the end of our interview, I ask young Will a question that might be a civics test nightmare for your average 10-year-old. Will's answer, though, is good enough — simple enough, true enough — to give me a little rush of goose pimples. What does being an American mean?

“Freedom of speech,” Will says, without even stopping to think. “The freedom to disagree. That's what I think pretty much being an American represents.”

Somewhere, Thomas Jefferson smiles.

So, what were you doing when you were 10? Were you a conscientious objector and resisting the status quo? Were you analyzing the concept of freedom and making political statements? Were you being an advocate for your family friends?

Yeah, me neither.

Happy 41st Anniversary Tom!

I have been thinking a lot about how to honor this day, 41 years of my life with you.


I thought about writing about what it's been like to be married to you, but I couldn't do that without chronicling the events that we've experienced together and that would be a book, not a blog post.


Instead, I thought I would merely list some of the things I love about you.

I love that you are a big guy in stature, but have such a gentle nature.

I love your compassion and acceptance of people, regardless of their background or politics or any other differences.

I love how you love me so openly and never hesitate to display your affection.

I love that you sometimes bring me flowers for no reason except that you love me.

I love how you quietly reach out and hold my hand when we are watching television or a movie.

I love that you cry at the touching or sad parts of movies or television shows, sometimes even before me.

I love that you love our sons no matter what.

I love how you show your grandchildren how much you love them, even when they are being their silliest or most outlandish.

I love how you work so hard with rarely a complaint and I love how proud you are of the work you do.

I love you for teaching our sons their basic work skills and work ethic.

I love how you took care of my mom while I established myself at my new job, making sure she went to her doctor's appointments, took her meds, everything, including fighting with her doctor to finally get her tested for dementia.

I love how you are so comfortable in your own skin.

I love your confidence.

I love your integrity.

I love how charming and charismatic you are.

I love how other people, especially women and children, gravitate towards you because you are so warm and safe.

I love how strong you are, even though you don't think you're not as strong as you used to be.

I love that you really love vegetables.

I love how your arms wrap all the way around me when you give me a hug.

I love how you always touch me, on the shoulder or back or head, when you pass by me in a room.

I love that you always want to kiss me good-bye, even when you're only going to the store.

I love you because I can tell you anything and you're never shocked and always supportive.

I love you because I don't ever have to pretend.

I love you because you always tell the truth, no matter what.

I love that you make coffee for us every single morning.

I love that you cook the best pasta dishes I've ever eaten and you enjoy doing it.

I love that you put on cologne after your shower even though we are staying home and it's only for me.

I love you because I can completely trust you.

I love you because you have taught me so much about myself.

I love that you tell me you love me every night before we go to sleep.

I love the smell of your skin in the morning.

I love you because you are my soul mate, and you believe I am yours.

I love you because you are the sexiest man I know.

I love all the little quotes we use that no one else understands, like how we sometimes start a phone conversation with "And let me tell you why..."

I love you because you are the first person who ever really loved me unconditionally.

I love that you think I'm pretty and sexy whether I'm skinny or fat.

I love that you make laugh every single day, no matter what is going on.

I love you because you are a nicer person than me.

I love you for sharing with me the best 41 years of my life.

I'm A Weeper

...as if you didn't already know that. Just about anything touching can bring a tear to my eye and this morning it was the following post at Joy Unexpected, another blog to which I subscribe. She is writing about her 5-year old daughter.

"August 26, 2009

Letters

I walked past her room to put a load of laundry in the washer.

She was sitting at her desk, writing something on a piece of paper. She had a Very Serious Look on her face as her hand moved quickly across the paper.

It's not uncommon for her to sit quietly at her desk and write things or color. But I could tell that was she was doing was important. I walked into her room, knelt down by her desk.

"What are you writing, Mija?"

"I'm writing a letter to Opa, even though I know he's already dead."

Even though it's been 10 months since he died, it still feels like a punch to the gut to hear the words spoken out loud. He's dead. My Grandpa is dead..

"What does the letter say?" I asked.

She looked directly in my eyes and said "thank you for loving me while you were alive, Opa."

I was speechless. One of the things that I worried most about after he died was that she would forget him. That she would grow up not knowing how much he loved and adored her. I didn't worry about my boys, they are old enough to remember. They had so many more years with him than she did. They KNOW without a shadow of a doubt how much he loved that and what an amazing man he was. I am grateful for that. But I was sure she'd forget him, being only 4 years old when he passed.

That little girl hasn't forgotten her Opa. She still thinks about him, she misses him. But more importantly, she still knows that her Opa loved her. And oh my God, did he ever love her.

He loved us all. We were incredibly blessed to have his love for he was truly the most wonderful man.

Her letter to him gives me hope that even though he is gone, he will ALWAYS be wonderful in the eyes of my children.

Posted by Y at August 26, 2009 3:28 PM"

So, now that I am teary again, I'm off to yoga class, then to the church to finish the newsletter, then to a health care town hall held by my Congressman, Vic Snyder. It should be interesting. I'm taking my camera.

I Am Crying...

Alright, not full blown sobbing, but tears are running down my cheeks to the side of my nose and heading toward my mouth.

I am a reader of a blog titled This Is Reverb. I love this guy. He's a young pastor, tattooed and pierced and he's got those things in his ears that make the holes bigger...I just cannot remember what they're called (my grandson, Jacob, has them, too). So, Pastor Ryan is certainly not your typical grey-suited, clean shaven minister. He's a pastor, but doesn't preach much. When he does preach (sort of), he's not preachy, if you know what I mean. What he does most is share his life, in beautiful photos and very few words.

Pastor Ryan is a husband and the father of a 3-year-old daughter and a newly born son.

This morning I had another of his posts in my Google reader titled "Thoughts on having a boy..." The post is not about God. It's not about Jesus. It's not about religion. It's about love. It is about his newborn son, barely a week old and reading the post and viewing the beautiful photos brought tears to my eyes. I hope you will click on the "title" link to read his post, too.

If it doesn't bring a tear to your eye and a smile to your face, you probably need to be locked up somewhere and medicated heavily.

Say What You Need To Say

Tom,

Thank you for helping me say what I need to say...

It is our humanity, and all the potential within it, that makes us beautiful ~ Shakespeare

I hope you take 10 minutes out of your day to watch this video. It's worth it.

I Admit It...I'm A Blubbering Wuss..

Sometimes I come across a poem or some words of wisdom and merely shake my head in agreement. Other times I read something that nearly moves me to tears. I think it's the mood I'm in when I read it, but it doesn't really make any difference. If it strikes a cord, I'm learning something from it.

I found the following words on another blog that I came across just by chance. I hope you find them as inspirational as I did...

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa