Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Blank Page

What is it about sitting at the computer, staring blankly at the screen, fingers hovered over the keyboard, but then nothing happens. No words or sentences, let alone paragraphs, emerge from my stagnant brain. It feels like squeezing the last drop of toothpaste out of the empty tube, not wanting to waste the last little bit. I know there's just enough toothpaste left in there to brush my teeth, but no matter how much pressure I apply to the tube as I run my fingers from the base to the opening, nothing comes out. Oh, I can see that last drop as it approaches the opening, but that's as far as it goes and, when I finally relax my grip, the last drop retreats back into the tube. Damn!

Sometimes I think its not really that my brain is stagnant. It's that I'm trying too hard to capture the myriad of thoughts going through my head and they pass through my consciousness so fast that I only get glimpses, like flashes of light only visible for a fraction of a second.

Thanksgiving. Bills. Laundry. Grandkids. Thirst. Truth. Time. Death. Christmas. Emails. Love. Cold. Sun. Beach. Headache. All the words that bear no relation to each other come and go in an instant.

So I take a deep breath and look up over the screen of my laptop at the wall in front of me at the photos of my sons, daughters-in-law and grandkids and all those beautiful blue eyes staring back at me and the only lingering thought that comes to mind is how grateful I am for them.

Today, that will be enough.

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