Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. ~ Author Unknown

Have you ever had anything for sale...an old couch or chair or tv or car...and put an ad in the paper or listed it on eBay and then had potential buyers ask some of the dumbest questions on the planet?

Well, apparently this poor woman did, too. Thanks to a commenter on Mountain Sage for the following:



From Craigslist:

MENOPAUSAL WOMAN WITH NASTY TEMPER HAS 1985 GRAND PRIX FOR SALE

——————————————————————————–
Date: 2008-04-28, 8:55AM EDT


Let’s answer some questions before I describe the car. Humor me… please…

1. NO, it is not a “condo-car” that’s been garaged all its natural life. It’s a $600 car.

2. YES, the odometer reads 24k miles, but I am VERY certain it has rolled over and it’s actually 124k miles. It’s a $600 car.

3. YES, it is restorable. Anything is restorable if you have the time and money! But, in its current condition, it’s a $600 car.

4. YES, the interior is very clean. NOTICE I DID NOT SAY IT WAS MINT! It is clean… one tiny tear on the drivers seat back, broken arm-rest on drivers side, TWENTY THREE YEARS OLD!!! Again, it’s a $600 car.

5. YES, it does start and run very well. My son drove it to and from work for several months while his daily-driver was being repaired. Not bad for a $600 car!

6. NO, my boyfriend and his tool box do NOT come with the car. In other words, you’re buying a TWENTY-THREE YEAR OLD, SIX HUNDRED DOLLAR CAR, people! I cannot guarantee that it will “last at least a year” or that “it will make it all the way to Oregon in September”. Sheesh… I mean, c’mon! My crystal ball broke a lonnnnnng time ago. What’s more, it’s a $600 car.

7. YES, it is quiet. But will it disturb your neighbors? HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW? I don’t even KNOW your neighbors! I know you can squeal tires pretty loudly, even in this old $600 car.

8. NO, I will NOT pay for your gas if you drive here from East Jesus and decide not to buy the car for any reason. Why would you drive 3 hours to buy a $600 car anyway?

9. NO, I am NOT interested in donating the car to your worthy cause. My son needs the money. He’s a kid, for crying out loud! Do you really think he’d be advertising this $600 car for SALE if he wanted to “help you out because you’re down on your luck because your boyfriend left you and took your car and you have no way to get back and forth from….”. You get the picture.

10. Did I mention it’s a $600 car? That does NOT mean it’s a $400 car, or a $500 car, or even a $550 car! THE PRICE IS $600, get it?

11. NO, I do not own a firearm. Yet.

If you’ve read this far, then you must be somewhat interested in the car, right? Be advised, I am in no mood to be trifled with after the 250 stupid phone calls I received over the weekend. That’s right… 250, mostly assinine people, asking questions relating to the above 11 answers. Ever dealt with a woman whose hot-flashes run about 500 degrees? Seriously. Do NOT poke the bear, or if you do, do so at your own risk.

I am not going to post my phone number, as my Xanax prescription is empty and I cannot afford to have it refilled until this Friday. That being said, I do have twenty photos of the car from every angle, aspect, perspective and view which I would be happy to send to you via email. Just click on the pretty blue link at the top of the post, and I promise I’ll email you back lots of full-color photos that were taken just this morning.

****Only after I have determined that you are not going to be yet another idiot such as those mentioned above will I give you my phone number and/or address so that you may come and see the car****

(Picture of car missing)

This item has been posted by-owner.
Location: Naples
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

1 comment:

Mountain Sage said...

Hi Terri.

Are you interested in exchanging links? If you would like to put a link to my blog on your Interesting Reads list I will be happy to put yours on my Blog Roll.