Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain. ~ Mark Twain

I bet you that's what Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue did before he called for a prayer vigil to end their drought a little over a year ago. You can't tell me ole Sonny wasn't checkin' out Weather.com and the Farmer's Almanac before he set the date.

Some other boring weather related info:

  • Believe it or not, there are some people who think the climate should be the same wherever they go.

  • Years ago, someone told me that Californians cannot cope with climate changes. It was a fellow Californian who said it. I believe it.

  • Kirkwood and Mammoth Ski Resorts got about a foot of snow yesterday

  • During the same time period, Nevada got torrential rains

  • Oklahoma suffered damage and 8 people died from deadly tornadoes

  • We got severe thunderstorms with tornado watches and warnings most of the night. I laid awake hoping the tornado siren wouldn't go off and 3 large people, a large dog, a small dog and a skitterish cat wouldn't have to squeeze into the hall closet for tornado safety. That would have made me very cranky.


So, in keeping with the subject of weather, I give you the following few moments of weather humor...at least I think it's humorous. I didn't write it. It wasn't really even my idea to post it. I just copied it from Homefront Six. I also like her 100 Things a lot better than mine.

Anyway, without further adieu...


AN ANNOTATED THERMOMETER

212º - Water Boils. Death Valley residents put on deodorant.

200º - Arizona children amuse themselves by dropping eggs on sidewalk and giggle while they fry.

150º - Miami residents put on sunglasses. Texans turn on the fan.

130º - Too hot to think. Texans and Californians undo top button. Antarctica is gone, polar bears extinct.

120º - Australians notice the sun is out. All Europeans and Canadians spontaneously combust.

110º - Canadians weep. New Yorkers burst open street fire hydrants.

105º - Texans drink coffee. Alaskans melt.

100º - British start sacrificing goats to make the sun go away. Californians finally turn off the heaters.

90º - Death Valley residents awaken. Scandinavians go underground.

80º - Canadians turn on the air conditioning full blast. Arizona residents stop shivering.

70º - Alaskans declare record heatwave. Californians rise from hibernation.

60º - Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe).

50º - Miami residents turn on the heat.

40º - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming. Siberians melt.

35º - Italian cars don't start.

32º - Water freezes.

30º - You plan your vacation to Australia, Minnesotans put on T-shirts, Politicians begin to worry about the homeless, British cars don't start.

25º - Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.

20º - You can hear your breath, Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further south.

15º - French cars don't start, You plan a vacation in Mexico, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

10º - Too cold to ski, You need jumper cables to get your car going.

5º - You plan your vacation in Houston, American cars don't start.

0º - Alaskans put on T-shirts, too cold to skate.

-10º - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15º - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansas residents stick tongues to metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist.

-20º - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start.

-25º - Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get driver going.

-30º - You plan a two week hot bath, The Mighty Monongajela freezes. Swedish cars don't start.

-40º - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, your car helps you plan your trip south.

-50º - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-60º - Hell freezes over, Polar bears move south!!

2 comments:

altadenahiker said...

what, you don't wear a sweater when it's 60 degrees? I don't stop there, I also wear a scarf.

Terri said...

My body has finally acclimated to Arkansas weather, but, not only does water freeze at 32 degrees, but every freakin' duck hunter in Arkansas takes to the marshes. They like it even better when it's raining. Go figure.