Thursday, October 9, 2008

"We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate. " ~ Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

Obviously, I have major misgivings about using that particular quote since it refers to the "best man," rather than the "best person," thereby completely dismissing the possibility of a woman candidate. However, being a person of big heart and personal generosity, in addition to the fact that Mr. Hubbard died in 1930, a number of years before I burned my bra and wrote letters to my representatives demanding that they vote to pass the Equal Rights Amendment, I will cut him some slack.

That said, the spirit of that particular quote seems extremely apropos this election and, now that I mention it, even the last presidential election. I'm getting tired of holding my nose while I vote. Luckily, the voting machines only require using one hand.

In my sincere effort to distract myself from the constant drone of CNN, MSNBC, Wolf "Uh,Uh" Blitzer, Chris Matthews (and his ever-spitty lips...ewwww!), John King (and his nifty, "ain't I cool" electoral map), Joe Scarborough (the only right-wing former politician I know with a sense of humor) and all four of the ever-boring, over-exposed, self-involved, bull shit spewing candidates, I have instead tried to wade through the myriad of food and cooking blogs to which I subscribe or have bookmarked. Wouldn't you know it, even my foodie friends have digressed into politics.

This post from Krysta @ Evil Chef Mom rings true for me and it has nothing to do with food or cooking. Although it is called Five Steps of A Political Junkie, it really should be called Five Steps of A Recovering Political Junkie.

Five Steps of A Political Junkie:

1. Excitement: Oh yes, you know this feeling too well, don't you? This is how they get you hooked, my friend. Excitement for your candidate. Excitement for the preliminary process. The 10 men entering the ring and only one comes out alive process. A little dirty but otherwise intact and ready for the main bout.

2. The Seriousness: Again, you know all about The Seriousness, also known as the training montage in movies. The watching of t.v. stations, the devouring of newspapers and magazines, hours spent reading political blogs. Knowing both your candidate and the enemies voting record and stances on issues...verbatim. You are scarily prepared.

3. Anger and Insults: This is when it becomes an addiction instead of being a well informed citizen. Did you throw things at the t.v. during the debate? Yes, you are addicted. Anger comes in many forms but mostly yelling. Yelling at your own candidate? Yelling at the pundits on t.v.? Are your children calling each other politician's names instead of butthead or moron*? Then you have a problem. It's okay, I've been there I can help. (I consider myself quite fortunate that I no longer have children at home who might adopt my less than civilized political behavior. In the throws of a debate or speech, it's just not pretty.)

4. Resignation: You are starting to recover from the political addiction when you feel a weird wave of calm wash over you. All you want is for a politician, even your own, to answer a question, any question straightforwardly. (However, they forgot to mention that this is the stage where you actually STOP screaming at the television, "Answer the f**king question!")

5. Acceptance: Or maybe it's just fatigue. No one is going to answer a question because it's too risky. Maybe things will change, maybe they won't. Who knows?

Me? I'm somewhere between #3 and #4. All I want is for any politician to answer a question simply, concisely, and straightforwardly, but I'm still demanding that they do that by screaming at the television.

Excuse me, but I have to go now. The Situation Room is starting...

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