The Art of Feng Shui

It was about 10:00 p.m. and I was laying in bed watching television. The volume was low so I wouldn't disturb Tom, who had fallen asleep. He began to snore. The snoring was pretty quiet at first, then over several minutes, got a little bit louder; then a little bit louder still until finally I touched his arm and said, "Tom, you're snoring."

So, the smart ass woke up out of a sound sleep, rolled over and, without even opening his eyes, responded,

"No, I'm not. I'm realigning the harmonic vibrations in the room. It's a Feng Shui thing."