Monday, November 5, 2007

Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything - N. Hill

I clearly do not have the desire I need to transcend. I don't have the desire to do anything.

I am back where I started... starting over. Beginning again. Fresh start. Square one.

In my defense (do I really need to defend myself?), I have been busy, lazy, depressed, overwhelmed, unmotivated, preoccupied, bummed out, woebegone, distressed and generally focused every where else. I don't know when that will change, but I am hoping it changes soon, but it will have to change without my input. None of this "pull yourself up by your boot straps" crap for me. I'm just going to wallow in it; pretend it is all out of my control. Yep, I am going to continue my little Pity Party for a little while longer until I feel even worse about myself.

My downward spiral will continue until, finally, I arrive at the place where I am feeling completely miserable and worthless and have reduced myself to a disgraceful, wretched blob. Then, and only then, will I finally do something about it.

Wish me luck!

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