Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Risky Behavior

I'm going through my emails again, purging old ones. I'm not really good about doing it daily, cleaning as I go, so to speak. I always feel like I have better things to do. Then I wind up spending a couple of hours a couple of times a year deleting.

As I was going through the emails, deciding which ones to delete and which ones to keep for future reference because they contain recipes or some other information I find pertinent, I found an email from my cousin that I had forgotten to add to my "quotes" file. It made me chuckle this morning, which I needed, so I thought I would share.

IMPORTANT RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

1. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name. (I've already discussed this here...)

3. Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then, neither does milk.

6. Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Coke and ice will ruin your teeth. Apparently ice is lethal!!! Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice!!

I happen to like ice in my drinks (but not my wine), so I suppose I will continue to partake at my peril. So far the odds have been in my favor.


2 comments:

altadenahiker said...

Number 5 is my absolute favorite.

Sage said...

LOL - great quotes. I'll have to remember to lay off the ice.