Never Again

I will never be a receptionist again. Many years ago, before I started my career in higher education, I was a receptionist. I didn't like it. That's probably when I decided to change it up a little and be a boss. Years later, after retiring, I decided to get a job because I wanted to stay "engaged" instead of being a hermit, so I got a job as a receptionist. I lasted about five minutes. Once you've been the boss, it's hard to be a receptionist who knows what the boss should be doing but isn't. I'd rather be a hermit, write in solitude and do a little volunteer work.

I will never buy another house with "potential." I'm sick of remodeling. Have I mentioned that I'm sick of remodeling?

I will never purchase another stainless steel appliance. I know they are supposed to be the thing. They look beautiful in a kitchen. But I'm basically lazy and I don't like myself very much when I feel like I need to scold Tom because he just put his wet fingers on the refrigerator door I just spent 30 minutes cleaning, wiping and waxing. I don't care if my kitchen doesn't look "high end." If I have to replace any of my appliances, it's either black or white.

I will never ever again tolerate toxic or high-maintenance relationships. Life's too short.

I will never again sleep in a tent on a foam pad in a sleeping bag. Our trip to Yellowstone three years ago. Middle of the night trips to the bathroom up the hill waiting to be attacked by a bear. I'm too old for that crap. It's either the camp trailer, a blow up mattress at one of my kids' houses or a hotel.

I will never again say I am going to let my hair grow longer. My guess is that I'm lying about this one.