Sunday, July 3, 2011

It's Official. I'm Done.

Karen plans to move out of our house this week. Now I am going to get back to enjoying my life.

What happened? My sister, Karen, had major vascular surgery Friday to clean out a carotid artery that was 90% blocked. We brought her home from the hospital yesterday. She laid down for nap and slept an hour or two and when she got up, she went outside and smoked a cigarette.... oh, for fear of telling more lies (Karen thinks I lie about her and my other sisters on this blog), I must clarify. Karen said she didn't smoke a WHOLE cigarette...just a few puffs. Doesn't matter a wit. She smoked. Just 24 hours after fucking vascular surgery. It was the last straw for me.

So why was this the last straw? Well, I have another blog that is password protected where I have sort of chronicled the whole drama, but I will try to bring you up to speed while keeping this short. In my view, Karen has done nothing to help herself get any better. Even with the 14 different medications she takes daily, including a new one, Advair, that is prescribed for asthma and COPD (I have no idea why her doctor prescribed it for her), she continues to smoke cigarettes, does not attempt to get any regular exercise to help strengthen her heart and lungs and she continues to eat crap. She seems quite content to just take the meds and hope for the best. Of course, she won't think any of these things I've written are correct. She thinks I am lying about them.

In addition to her lack of physical well being, Karen has also completely isolated herself from nearly all human contact, except when she walks to the store (smoking her cigarettes) and goes to doctor appointments. She gets up in the morning (and I use the term "morning" very generously) anywhere from 11:00am to 2:00pm. ~~ I have to add here that 2:00pm has been my personal limit. If she didn't arise by then I would check to see if she was still alive because...well, that's what I expect to happen because of her lifestyle. ~~ She spends most of her day in her room in front of her computer, coming out for meals and maybe watch a little television in the evening, then back to her room, on the computer until about 2:00am to 3:00am, then starts the day all over again. She has done this since she first arrived here in February. She did the very same thing when we moved her in with us in 2009 after her boyfriend Bob died, except then she just laid on her bed and watched television all day and all night. At that time, I just thought it was grief, but now I realize that it is merely her choice and nobody and nothing, no matter how drastic, is going to make her change her lifestyle because she doesn't want to change.

Today she told me I lie on my blog. I don't.

Today she told us that we are trying to characterize ourselves as the victims, when in fact she is the real victim. Nope. I take full responsibility for what I got myself into and I'm ready to take full responsibility for changing it. We have asked her to move out. I will no longer accept any responsibility for her life or her eventual death.

My nephew made a literally brilliant statement: "When charity turns into enabling, you know the person is toxic." How the hell did these young people grow up to be so smart in such toxic environments. I am in awe of their insight and capacity to love.

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