Why is this harder?
I have this little verbal dialog in my head from the movie Pretty Woman. Edward (Richard Gere) tries to compliment Vivian (Julia Roberts) by telling her she has some special gifts. Vivian responds, the bad stuff is easier to believe. Haven't you noticed that?
It's true. We all grow up with internal scripts that define how we see ourselves and who we ultimately become. Some of us are our own worst 'parent' - if, of course, we were raised in a dysfunctional, abusive family. So, yes, I often focus on my negatives instead of my positives, but I'm going to give this a honest effort.
I love that I was the rebellious and disobedient child of our family. I loved that I was able to see very early on, like in my pre-teens, that there was something very different, very cruel, sometimes brutal, very oppressive almost tyrannical about my family. That realization, plus my relationship with Tom and close friends in my 20's and 30's and a little psychotherapy helped me to sever my reliance on my parents and start to change for the better.
I love that I have loved and been married to Tom for 42 years. I love that I helped raise two sons who have become wonderful men, husbands and fathers. I love how much and how deeply I love my husband, sons, daughters-in-law and grandkids. Growing up, I never thought I was capable of loving so deeply.
I love that I'm generous.
Often to a fault. See how the negative always slips in somehow? If I have it, I'm willing to share it.
I love that I don't allow my aches, pains or illnesses to get the best of me. I always look for ways that will help me move past or through them.
I love that I'm a good listener because I'm truly interested in what people have to say. I'm interested in how people view the world and how they relate to it.
I love my sarcastic sense of humor. It puts things in perspective for me.
I love that I am a good cook and I'm becoming a good baker.
But, if I continue this little love-fest any longer, I'm not going to have much left for my Day 30 love letter. Now THAT, my friends, is going to be a challenge.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Why is this harder?