The Myth of Man's Best Friend

My dog is not what I expected.

When a person acquires a dog, one has certain expectations.

Me? I had visions of running through fields of flowers with my dog running at my side, tongue flapping in the wind. Or how about sitting in the sun on newly mown grass with my dog laying quietly at my feet. Or sitting under the vine-covered pergola watching my dog lying in the grass in the shade of a tree spying on a squirrel nibbling on the cob of corn hanging from the bird feeder post.

Sadly, none of those visions would be Joe.

Joe does not like the outdoors. He is a steadfast indoor dog. He likes carpet. He likes the couch, more specifically His pillow on the couch. In the alternative, Tom's office desk chair that sits next to mine will do in a pinch. The nice cool tile floor feels mighty nice on a hot belly on a warm day. When he becomes bored with following us from room to room, he naps in his little cushy bed situated at the end of the dining room.

Of course, sometimes he has to go outside so we've made it easy for Joe to come and go as he pleases in the back yard. Tom has replaced the bottom third of the screen door with plexiglass on one side and a doggie door on the other side. Most of the time the back door is open, if only just enough to allow Joe access to the screen door.

Outside, in Joe's world, is for peeing and pooping and little else. And where he pees and poops is just as important as when. For instance, he does not pee or poop in the rain...EVER. Nor will he pee or poop on wet (Ewww, ewww, ewww) grass. That's why covered patios were invented. Same for hot, sunny days. Run out to the patio. Poop. Pee. Back in the house.

We're lucky that he is a Mostly Maltese and not a big Golden Retriever or Boxer or Lab. Little dogs = little turds. Easy peasy.

This morning was glorious. It was in the mid-60's with a slight breeze, although it had rained overnight. Tom and I were enjoying our morning coffee out on the patio for the first time in months, something we absolutely love to do. But, uncharacteristically, Joe did not follow us. We sat for at least 15 minutes. No Joe. We wondered if we had inadvertently closed the door so Joe could not access his doggie door. A quick check...no the door was open. Well, maybe he was asleep and didn't realize we were gone. Highly unlikely.

Tom called Joe and he emerged through the door....sort of....

Joe poked his head through the doggie door...paused...then disappeared back into the house. Thanks, but no thanks.

He's such a Diva.