This is a real story from our local newspaper, The Log Cabin Democrat.
Seriously. I couldn't make this shit up.
By Joe Lamb
LOG CABIN STAFF WRITER
A swarm of honey bees thwarted an alleged theft attempt atop Billy Goat Mountain on Sunday, according to a Faulkner County Sheriff’s Office incident report.
Rickey Dale Ford, 46, of 190 Nanny Goat Lane, was arrested and transported to Conway Regional Medical Center after deputies found him lying in the woods about 900 yards from a home on Billy Goat Mountain where he allegedly had stolen an air compressor, chain saw, two string trimmers and a toolbox.
These items were found sitting on a bush hog, which was being used as a makeshift trailer to transport the stolen goods. A tractor that had been reported stolen from another Billy Goat Mountain residence was being used to pull the Bush Hog.
“The tractor had run over many trees, making its own path through the woods until it could go no more,” the report states.
Still warm, the tractor was found wedged between two trees, according to the report. Maj. Andy Shock of FCSO said the tractor’s path through the woods led back to a barn with a broken lock, from which the stolen property was allegedly taken.
And about 100 yards from the tractor, deputies found Ford lying on the ground, foaming at the mouth, barely breathing and unresponsive, according to the report.
When deputies first arrived, they were told by the property owner that he had seen a man wearing a ski mask riding an ATV on his property. When the property owner confronted the masked trespasser he fled on the ATV, crashing into a bee hive on his way out. According to the report the trespasser abandoned the ATV and proceeded on foot through the woods.
The property owner told deputies what the trespasser looked like and what he was wearing and that he probably didn’t make it far.
Shock said investigators were still trying to work out how Ford may have driven both the tractor and ATV. He may have driven the stolen tractor loaded with stolen property until it got stuck and then walked to his home and retrieved his stolen ATV, Shock said, or another suspect may have been involved.
When deputies found Ford he had been stung between 50 and 100 times, Shock said. Hilltop Volunteer Fire Department First Responders and MEMS were called in to stabilize him and he was transported to Conway Regional Medical Center. He was released into police custody on Monday, according to Shock.
By Wednesday, he had been charged with breaking or entering, criminal mischief and two counts of theft of property, both class-B felonies. At his arraignment Wednesday afternoon he was set a $12,000 bond by Circuit Judge Charles “Ed” Clawson."
A commenter with a user I.D. of "justwantdanews" posted the following comment,
Let me get this correct. A guy with a mullet and two first names Rickey Dale was stung by a swarm of bees while trying to steal an air compressor, chain saw, two string trimmers and a toolbox. This could be a scene from hillbilly version of Home Alone. What's with people and mullets? I saw a toddler in Wal-Mart this past weekend with a mullet. Just let it die people. Let it die!
I have nothing further to add people.