“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day..." ~ Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong is a lot stronger than me. He is also a lot younger than me.

My problem is that I am old and I just don't have that competitive gene; that gene that pushes me through the pain to the final gain. I hurt. My knees are bruised. My hips are so sore, if I sit down I have a hard time getting back up. My back aches. And, I have found muscles in my butt I didn't know I had. Have I been running? Have I been working out in the gym with weights? Have I been doing deep squats and leg lifts? No. I have begun grouting the tile floor in the kitchen.

Saturday, Tom pulled out the stove, refrigerator and dishwasher and laid the tile that would be underneath. We let it mastic dry overnight and I proceeded to begin to grout Sunday morning. By 3:30 p.m., the appliances were back in place.

Yesterday, I started grouting the remaining tiles in the kitchen and dining areas and finished about a quarter of it. I have at least the rest of week's worth of grouting to go. But, it looks good.

However, I hurt and I'm cranky. By noon yesterday, my thigh muscles cramped uncontrollably, my elbows hurt from carrying and moving heavy buckets of clear water and grout, and my knees were bruised and aching from kneeling on the hard tile. So, when Tom (Mr. Life's-Too-Short-Not-To-Laugh) came home for lunch, caught me in my "grouting position" and made the comment "that's the way I like my women... on their hands and knees..ha,ha,ha", I was pretty close to committing some kind of really nasty bodily harm, but instead, I gave him "The Look."

Later that evening, as I was attempting to lower myself into the chair in the den to sit and watch the Democratic debates, I said, "Did you hear that?"

Tom, "Did I hear what?"

Me, "That scream."

Tom, "What scream?"

Me, "I am so sore that when I started to sit down, my butt screamed 'NOOOOOOOOO!'"

Okay, not really.