If only closed minds came with closed mouths. ~ As seen on a button at evolvefish.com

Bigotry: noun The attitude, state of mind, or behavior characteristic of a bigot; intolerance. Irrational prejudice, suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.

And from Wikipedia: A bigot is a prejudiced person who is intolerant of opinions, lifestyles, or identities differing from his or her own.

Are you a bigot?

When you ask yourself that question, what thoughts come to mind? Am I prejudice against African-Americans, Hispanics or other races? I think, for the most part, that is the question we all ask ourselves. We define bigotry merely by how we view racial differences.

What about other deep seated prejudices that are just as ugly and just as painful for those "other" people we judge. Do you harbor that sort of bigotry? I bet at some level you do.

When I tell you that I live in Arkansas, what do you think? Do you see a person who is barefoot, wears overalls and chews straw? Do you think I'm "slow," live in a trailer park or am I a redneck who drives a junky pick-up truck with a gun rack?

My sister, Karen, received a card the other day from someone who knows both of us quite well; someone who is fairly educated and who I would consider fairly open minded, and yet this person felt completely comfortable ridiculing an entire group of people by making an offensive joke about the "language" spoken in Arkansas, broadly referencing farm animal noises. Would she make this same joke about an entire race of people or people of another country? I seriously doubt it. If she encountered someone who was obese or overly thin, would she ridicule and belittle them? Or, if she encountered someone who was physically disfigured, would tell jokes about them in their presence or make fun of their disability? Again, I seriously doubt it.

What is it about my living in the South that seems to piss people off so much that they think they have the right or have been given permission to degrade where I live, ridicule me, my friends and/or neighbors for choosing to live here, and revile our perceived lifestyles.

I'm sick of it. The jokes may be "all in good fun," but they are mean, inaccurate and they hurt. I may not live in the electric, busier and more crowded parts of the country ~ Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Boston, just to name a few ~ but I can recognize when I am the butt of a joke. It is appalling to me that the very same people, many of whom are products of some of America's finest intellectual communities, who claim to embrace the diversity of their cities and this country, and assert a message of inclusiveness, and wouldn't even consider ridiculing a race of people, will exhibit a complete lack of sensitivity in their characterization and gross stereotyping of Southerners. But, don't call them elitest.

Just for the record...

• I am an educated, retired, professional woman


• Even though I lived in the country on a small farm for a number of years, I am not countrified. I do, however, love the outdoors and the peace and quiet of living in the country


• I currently live in an upper middle class neighborhood and drive a car (a red convertible, not a pick-up truck) that is barely two years old


• I don't own a pair of overalls, but I do own jeans, but prefer wearing them with a nice shirt, a blazer and shoes with a little heel


• I wear some sort of footwear every single day, except when I'm bathing, swimming or sleeping, and I have a significant wardrobe of shoes, with handbags to match


• I read (and comprehend the contents of) at least three newspapers a day, usually the New York Times, The Washington Post and/or the Wall Street Journal and at least one other local newspaper.


• I vote based on my understanding of the issues, not how my pastor tells me to vote... and not because of a candidate's skin color


• I like biscuits and gravy, but I ate them long before I ever moved here and I still make them better than anyone else I know, including other Southerners


• I prefer a good martini or a glass of a good merlot to moonshine; a delicate veal Marsala or Chicken Makhani (Indian Butter Chicken) to traditional Southern barbecue; a soft, silky Creme Brulee to a slice of pecan pie


• And the only thing I chew is my food

So let me ask you...if you believe that racism is a result of the ignorance of those people who are racist, then what does it say about those bigots whose attitudes, intolerance or hatred of a group of people is based merely on the geographical location in the United States in which the group of people live?

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. ~ Aldous Huxley

I had a major epiphany in church yesterday and I'm not even sure where to start.

When Tom and I moved here in 1993, we started going to a large, very well established United Methodist Church. We chose that church mostly because a friend of ours was one of the pastors there and encouraged us to attend. We attended because we like Bob and we later joined the church because we liked it.

In May of 1994, we learned that Bob would be leaving our church, but he approached us and encouraged us to attend services for a brand new United Methodist Church. They ~ maybe 50 or 60 people ~ were meeting in a very small chapel/center owned by the university. We were hesitant, but we attended a couple of their services and we loved it.

We continued to attend the services with the smaller congregation and as the congregation grew, we moved our services to a larger borrowed facility at a local college, essentially a classroom with stadium seating. We didn't care. We loved the congregation and fellowship and each person participated as much and as often as they were able. Bob's sermons were always thought-provoking and positive.

Within a year or so, our congregation was beginning to outgrow it's borrowed classroom, but our offerings were steady and we were ready to build our own church. We purchased a plot of land at the edge of town, hired an architect and the rest is history.

On Easter Sunday, 1995, we attended a sunrise Easter service on the property where we were soon to break ground and build Grace United Methodist Church, and our first official service in our new church was November 1996.

So...fast forward. We moved out of Conway, but continued to drive in for church on Sunday for quite some time. But, you know how it goes. The long drive becomes tedious after a long week of commuting to Little Rock for work. On the weekends, there was much more to be done at home after moving to the 10-acre farm. We had ducks, geese, chickens, sheep to care for, 4-acres to mow every week during the spring and summer, and we were building our dream house. Church took a back seat. We talked about attending a church closer to our house, but we never did. One day, we finally just stopped going altogether. Then we moved to Incline Village for a year; then came back to the same house we couldn't sell with my mom in tow; then mom passed; we finally sold our house and farm and moved into town; then started remodeling our house; then bought the flip house to remodel... You know, yada, yada, yada...excuse after excuse after excuse.

Two Sundays ago was the first Sunday we attended Grace in all those years and I felt flooded with memories. I loved the beautiful windows that were given to our church by another church in Luxora, Arkansas. The kneeling rails and oak alter that Tom built and I finished and gold-leafed still stand proudly in the chapel. But, I still felt a little disconnected. I didn't recognize hardly anyone, not even the pastor. Bob has since moved on to the Arkansas Conference.

Yesterday we attended Grace Church for the second time. This time we had a group of college students from Arkansas Tech University leading the service with song and sermon (in words typical of what I think would be a college student's daily conversation). The songs were uplifting and the "sermon" given by a senior science student was point on. He talked about what he believed, that it was all "on you" to make the right choices every moment of every day, sort of like the game "Tetrus," and how great he felt when he thought he made the right choices just for one day, like playing the game, "Guitar Hero," because it is so hard to get 100%. Then their director/pastor came forward and talked about "the moment" and I just started to cry and couldn't stop.

I was so embarrassed and I tried to compose myself, but the tears just kept coming and when the service was over I couldn't get to the car fast enough. I tried hard to understand what caused such a deep response in me and finally realized it was everything that has gone on in my life this last year, but it was also the crystal clear realization of each of those moments when I made decisions... some were wrong and some were right. It was kind of like my life flashing before my eyes at that very moment, but not in a negative way.

I tried to really analyze that whole experience (as only I can so thoroughly and painfully do), but I have come to the conclusion that I can analyze until I'm blue in the face; analyze (and agonize) over every single decision and I will still not always immediately know or understand the impact or outcome...whether I was right or wrong... until much later when all the circumstances and drama are fully played out.

So, in the end, maybe it's not the just the actual decision, right or wrong, after all. Maybe it's not even about the choices we had or the process we used to get to our decision. Maybe what is also important is the vision, goal or mission we are attempting to accomplish. What if what is really, ultimately, most important is our intent?

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." ~ Thornton Wilder "

Well, as you know if you read my update in my Monday post, I DID, in fact, attempt to do my walk/run. I did not do it on Wednesday, as scheduled, because I had pulled a muscle in my back; a muscle that runs from my spine to around my ribcage ~ Gawd...Freakin OUCH! It's pretty much gone this morning, but although I will be doing my walk run, it won't be with Goldie. Too bad.

Today is my in-laws anniversary and tonight we will meet my sister-in-law, Christina, and her husband over at my in-laws to present them with a photograph album Christina put together from the Anniversary/Family Reunion in July. I am taking dessert ~ Oreo Crunch Brownies ~ and some ice cream to go with them. We are meeting there at 6:00pm, after my in-laws having eaten dinner. They eat their evening meal at exactly 5:00pm every day and have for as long as I've known them. We don't eat that early, so we will not be having dessert... just taking it. After we leave my in-laws, we will go to Gusano's Pizza and order The Chaplain, which comes with an oil-based sauce on a Chicago-style thick crust with chicken, artichoke hearts, onions, tomatoes, mozzarella and Feta cheese. We also add spinach. It is just delicious. And it is one of the newer places in town where you can buy a beer or a glass of wine with dinner (remember, this is a "dry" county and to serve alcohol establishments must seek a liquor permit as a private club ~ a really stupid thing to have to do, but it works out okay...we just can't have liquor stores...yet).

Anyway, we will have a nice dinner and come back to the house for the dessert I will have left at home for us.

So, I had a real surprise. I don't know why I was so surprised. Maybe because I expected a different response, or maybe I expected no response at all. Yesterday, while I was on Myspace, I sent a request to my son, Mike, asking to be one of his Myspace friends and he accepted. I know it sounds like it is really nothing, but considering what we've been through this year, it's a lot... at least to me.

I am starting to get into the holiday spirit. My depression has not yet set in, but it's not the day before Thanksgiving yet, either. But, I feel differently this season. I don't feel obsessed or pulled in a million directions (so far) or like there is an impending cloud looming in the distance. Tom has taken all of the Christmas decorations down from the attic and this weekend we will start putting up lights, lighted grazing reindeer and a lighted sled with flying reindeer. Over the last few years, I have been collecting beautiful Santa's in many different Christmas costumes. They are my favorite decorations, besides the Christmas tree. The house will be festive for Thanksgiving and we have the entire 4-day Thanksgiving weekend to just enjoy!

After a few revisions, I have finalized our Thanksgiving Day menu and I will spend probably most of Monday shopping, then start preparing some of the dishes ahead of time on Tuesday and Wednesday. How can I spend so much time?? Well, sadly, I didn't get the job I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago. That just means I have to keep on trying to convince someone to hire an experienced old lady instead of a young, energetic newbee. I will keep applying until someone finally says, "You know, I think she might just do a good job and add something positive to our department. Until then, I have many projects to fill my time, including painting, Thanksgiving dinner, holiday baking, etc.

So I found this following little meme somewhere on the net which just asks you to list 13 things you are thankful for this holiday season. It seemed appropriate. It's a nice exercise in gratitude. I think everyone should try it.

Thirteen Things I’m Thankful for This Holiday Season... in no particular order...


1. My health and the health of my family: After my Dad's death in 1992, my mom's death in 2003, brother-in-law's and my sister, Kim's deaths earlier this year...well, I can't help but be thankful. Those are strong reminders of what a tenuous grasp we have on our lives. And, I don't think I'm overstating or exaggerating it.

2. My husband, Tom, and his love and support: He has been beside me, loving, encouraging, supporting, helping me since the day we married, even when I wasn't the most receptive or lovable. His love and commitment to me has never wavered.

3. My sons, Mike and Chris: We’ve been through some really great times and some rocky times over the years, but somehow we always, in the end, are able to choose to embrace our love for one another rather than our differences or disagreements.

4. My grandchildren: They are so precious to me. It makes my day...okay, it actually makes my week...when I receive even the shortest email or text from one of them..."Hi Grandma. Love you!" or "Hi. How are you?" or "Love you!" or just "Hi!". Or when I receive an envelope in the mail of some pictures they've drawn. It's hard being so far away from all of them. It's the little things that make me feel like they consider me part of their lives.

5. Reconnecting with my sisters: It has been a lonely 17 years. All five of us went our separate ways and held onto old grudges for all that time. Did we change? Did we just change our minds? No. We acknowledged our own participation in the resentment and lack of communication and stopped blaming. And we allowed ourselves to trust and be vulnerable enough to acknowledge our love for each other. We are still the same people we were before this. We each have our own problems, neurosis, idiosyncrasies and personality flaws. We are human. Do we always agree now? Nope, not a chance. But we recognize and accept that we will have differences and even disagreements, but still love each other. I think we grew up!

6. Our neighbors, Bill and Denise, Rob and Amanda, Jim and Mary, Steve and Nelda and Mrs. Duke: The "hellooo's" across the drive ways, the helping hands, the conversations. I love it.

7. My sister-in-law, Christina: She takes my in-laws to doctor's appointments, medical tests and any where else they want to go, without ever complaining or being resentful. Then she emails the whole family of brothers and sisters to keep everyone up to date.

8. Good Friends, both online and off: There are not many people that I call a close friend, but the ones that I do, as far as I am concerned they are my friends for life, whether they move away or not. I am very grateful for the friendship of each and every one.

9. The men and women of the United States Armed Forces: I salute you all. You're brave and unquestioning service to your country is nothing short of astonishing. I also salute your families for the sacrifices they make on your behalf.

10. My dog, Goldie: I know I talk about her being a lump and such, but I love her just the same and she is really part of our family.

11. My readers, visitors and guests of this blog and Terri's Table: Thank you for your comments, emails and just reading what I write. You make me smile every day. Gawd, I never thought anyone would be interested except me and Tom.

12. My nephews and nieces: All of them, wherever they are and whether we have contact or not. Some are still single, some are married, some have children, some have not yet started a family. They have grown into really wonderful people in their own right. I am proud of each and every single one of you. Whether you believe it or not, I think about you every single day.

13. Laughing: Not at someone, but with someone. Not poking fun or ridiculing people, but laughing at ourselves. Tom always says, "Life's too short not to laugh," and he makes me laugh every single day. Try holding on to a bad mood when a 63 year old guy starts talking about how cool he is and let's his tongue out of his mouth (like he thinks it looks sexy) then does a silly, fairly uncoordinated dance just to prove it. I love to laugh and I'm grateful that I can still appreciate the silly things in life, in people, on television and in the movies. A good sense of humor contributes to better health, better relationships and a better life. Just ask my Aunt Sally, who has the best laugh in the world.

I would like to finish this post with the lovely, insightful words of Warren Barfield's song:

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
And then commit to never leave

Lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in the raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave, may God send His angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing of us
But demand we give our all

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for.

Blind Woman Threatened Over 1¢ Bill

Sometimes I just can't help myself. I have to do something.

When I read this article on MSNBC.com this morning, I immediately looked up the address for the City Collector's office in Attleboro, Massachusetts.

From MSNBC.com:

"A 74-year-old blind woman was shocked when her daughter found a letter from the city saying a lien would be placed on her home unless she paid an overdue water bill.

The amount? 1 cent.

Eileen Wilbur told The Sun Chronicle of Attleboro the letter sent her blood pressure soaring, and pointed out that stamps cost 42 cents.

The letter warned of a lien and a $48 penalty if the overdue bill is not paid by Dec. 10. The charge was from the previous fiscal year, which ran from July 2007 to July 2008.

And what was City Collector Debora Marcoccio's response to inquiries as to why the City took such drastic measures for 1 cent? "My question is, how come it wasn't paid when the (original) bills went out?"

Well, I just wrote a letter to Ms. Marcoccio and attached a penny to it (Yes. Really).


Some people just take their position and perceived power WAY too seriously.

"Honesty" without compassion and understanding is not honesty, but subtle hostility". ~ Rose N. Franzblau

Subtle hostility. Yup. Or maybe Not-So-Subtle Hostility. Better; more accurate.

As you can probably ascertain from the quote I used for the title of today's post, I'm not in a very good mood. I was in a worse mood when I woke up. I didn't sleep well. I was awake a good portion of the night and my head was full of thoughts; my gut was full of feelings. I should have just got out of bed and started pounding my thoughts out on the keyboard of my laptop, but nooooo, not me. I just laid there thinking and not sleeping.

When I did sleep, I had nightmares about coming home from a trip and finding my house had been trashed by my sister's cat. Go figure that one out. I'm not even going to try.

Be It Resolved - I WILL stop going places, i.e. internet sites, where I know I'll find just the right amount of hostility to stir crap up.

After Tom left this morning, I came into the office, logged onto my laptop, checked out my reader for blogs that I follow and came across this post, Meaningful Conversations with a Four Year Old. I am telling you, if you don't click on that link and read that post, you are missing a great story! I laughed out loud sitting here all by myself. And my mood has been elevated somewhat.

Thanks to Joy Unexpected for raising my spirits.

Now... get this... first, I am going to hook up my iPod and make sure I have Week One of the Podrunner Intervals (What?? No, can it be??). Then I am going to go in and put on my Nike sweats and running shoes (No, no, is she actually going to do it??) and I am going to take Goldie over to Tucker Creek Trail (Holy crap! She's actually going to do it!), and we are going to do a walk/run! (Shut Up! I'll believe when she's actually done it).

UPDATE BIOTCH!: I did do the walk/run... more of a walk/run/walk/walk/walk/run or something like that. I did the first four runs, but got a side stitch, walked the next three runs, but walked them with the increased tempo of the running music, then I ran the last running segment. We did 1-1/2 miles total. Not so bad I guess for not doing much of anything since July. Goldie was so tired and panting so hard that she fogged up the windows in the car. We gotta get that girl in shape!... Oh, yeah, me, too.

There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. ~ Madeleine K. Albright

Yes, that is how I am feeling today. So much female bashing lately, even after the election. Then I ran across this post on Anglachel's Journal. All I can say is thank you...

So now what? Today is Friday. I don't feel like doing Some Things Friday, but I'd like to do a little something. A while back I came across The Simple Woman's Daybook, but since I am by no means "simple", I merely copied the concept for use at another time. The time would be now, since I am feeling like I, once again, need a little creative boost.

This will be my occasional Daybook…

FOR TODAY NOVEMBER 14, 2008 (Who knows how things will be tomorrow)...

Outside my window...it's rather dreary and overcast, but the forecast is for a sunny, but very cold weekend.

Waiting..."on the world to change." John Mayer, The Continuum CD

Catching up on...office stuff and organizing recipes for my food blog.

I am thinking...about everything. My head is filled with thoughts. Karen ~ her grief and her health. Milt, my father-in-law ~ he has a CT Angiogram on Monday. Jacob ~ this weekend he is performing in a play he wrote with other students in an acting workshop. My friend, Tammy ~ I saw her in Kohl's the other day. And, finally, my nephew, John's, new baby boy, David...


I am thankful for...the work Tom continues to have inspite of the downturn in the economy. I am thankful that my sister-in-law, Christina, happily cares to my in-laws needs and keeps the family posted. I am thankful for the loving relationships that continue to soothe my heart. I am thankful for my health, as it becomes clearer to me daily that it is nothing to take for granted. I am also thankful that this "Daybook" reminds me that I have many things to be thankful for.

From the kitchen...we will have leftovers tonight for dinner. Last night I made Pork Osso Bucco for dinner. Of course, we have leftover pork and parmesan grits. Tom made Pasta with Sausage, Tomatoes and Cream for dinner the night Karen and I arrived home from our trip from Las Vegas. We froze those leftovers. Tonight, a yummy Italian buffet.

I am wearing...sage green cropped pants and a multicolored v-neck t-shirt, both from Chico's, and flip flops

I am creating...this blog, although it is not fully my creation because the basic concept is not mine. It's more of a collaborative effort.

I am going...to stay home today and pay all my bills online.

I am reading...Patriotic Grace by Peggy Noonan. I know she's a Republican, but as I've said many times, I'm not opposed to reading ANYTHING that is thoughtful and well written, even if I disagree. We are ALL Americans, whether we want to acknowledge that or not, and each one of us feels strongly about the positions and policies we embrace, regardless of our party affiliation.

I am hoping...we sell our flip house soon.

I am remembering...my childhood at Clear Lake. I ran across this picture on the internet and it is currently my desktop wallpaper...



It reminds me of my sisters and me on the boat docks at Nice (pronounced "Neece") Campground on Clear Lake. The littlest girl definitely reminds me of my sister, Robin.

I am hearing...the birds outside and Karen snoring in her room (or it could be Bella, her miniature pinscher, that is snoring).

Around the house...are books in piles on the coffee table and book case waiting to be read, DVD's and CD's lining the shelves in the den and a stack of printed and hand written recipes for my food blog, Terri's Table, laying in a stack on the island in the kitchen.

One of my favorite things...is creating something new and delicious and sharing it.

In the near future... we will be waiting to hear about my father-in-law's CT Angiogram results to see what, if anything, can be done. Also, Tom and I have decided to go back to Grace Church, starting this Sunday. We haven't been back to Grace or attended any other church since we moved back to Arkansas. We are two of the founding members of Grace Church, Tom was a member of the first building committee and he was also one of the first trustees of Grace. Our former pastor was promoted to a position within the global ministry and we have not yet met the new pastor. We are looking forward to it.

My plans to focus on...Thanksgiving Day dinner at our house this year. I already have the menu, now I have to plan the shopping list and preparation. The first part of December, we will drive to Memphis again to see another musical. We WILL be decorating the house for Christmas this year. I refuse to let another holiday season pass feeling like the Christmas spirit is every where else but my home.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing...

I'm hungry and this is a chorizo, egg and cheese burrito...

Based loosely on the The Simple Woman’s Daybook

What It's Really Like to Get Old...

"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on."
- Beryl Pfizer

People will disapprove of you if you're unhappy, or if you're happy in The Wrong Way. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Why is it that with some people, no matter what you do, they could never acknowledge that you've ever done or will do anything right? No matter what it is, no matter how hard you try, if you say something - it's the wrong thing to say. . . if you don't say something - that's wrong, too. No matter what you do, they always find fault. You can never meet their expectations. . .never. So, stop guessing and go about your life!

With that little rant out of the way. . .

Karen is here and settling in. She is thinking that she will only be here 4 or 5 months. I hope that she is giving herself enough time to really get back on her feet.

I haven't written much about the trip, but it was extremely tiring for me. I've been sleeping a lot and trying to get rested up, going to bed extra early and having difficulty getting up in the morning. Last Sunday, I didn't get up until almost 8:30! That's almost two hours later than my usual time.

The first day driving and the first night's stop-over weren't half bad. I stopped in Tucumcari, New Mexico. It was the usual - nice, comfortable bed, quiet. The second day I drove to Flagstaff and stopped for the night, but when I got out of the car at the hotel I heard a train whistle - pretty loud. The sign attached to the front desk inside said "Railroad crossing nearby". Oh, crap! I asked the clerk if the trains ran all night. "24/7, right through the middle of Flagstaff," she cheerfully replied. Double crap! She called around and was able to find me another room at another hotel a little further away from the train tracks - for 3 times the cost. No thank you, I'll suffer (even though I don't suffer well, according to my sister-in-law, Carol). The clerk wound up providing me with a set of ear plugs. I was tired and rude. She was kind and patient. I went back and apologized later. It was a fitful night. I only slept off and on. I probably should have just driven all the way to Las Vegas instead of stopping, but I hate ~ REALLY, REALLY HATE ~ driving at night.

So, on day three I arrived at Karen's a little before noon. I sat down for a couple of hours, then we packed all of her stuff in my Expedition that afternoon, except the animals. Later, we went out to eat and had Chinese food for dinner and then, for me, it was bedtime and I was sharing a king-size bed with Karen, a cat and three little dogs, one of which kept insisting (through body language) that I was sleeping in his spot! That is not what kept me awake all night. What drove me nuts was the loud, echoing drip, drip, drip in the shower in the bathroom. I woke up every hour and every hour I thought, Oh, gawd, how am I going to be rested enough to drive to Holbrook tonight.

The next morning, day four, I was up at 6:30am, functioning on pure adrenalin. Karen, not being a morning person, was still sound asleep, but I woke her around 7:00am to let her know I was going to Starbucks (just around the corner...sort of) to get some coffee and give her time to get up and get ready to go. We had planned to stop at the Veterans Memorial Cemetery on our way out of Las Vegas to visit Dad and Mom's and Bob's grave sites to say final good-byes.

This was my first visit to the cemetery and to see where my mom and dad ashes are buried.







What I realized when I uploaded the photos I took that day was that Bob was the same age as Tom. I got this fleeting moment of panic and had to pull myself together. Then I thought it was odd that I didn't notice the age thing while we were at the cemetery. I think I was just numb by then.

So, off we were, over Hoover Dam and on our way home...well, my home.

Karen left three animals home with Bob's son. Rocco (the dog I displaced in the king size bed) and Rosie (the dog that would just as soon bark and bite me than look at me), both miniature pinschers, and a cat, whose name escapes me. She brought two critters with her. Bella, also a miniature pinscher, but she looks more like a small blimp with toothpicks. She's on a diet. Dusty is a cat. I'm lucky to catch her on the bed facing forward. Most of the time, I only see her butt as she scurries under the bed.

So, anyway, back to the trip. Bella spent most of her time in Karen's lap, was a good traveler and slept most of the time. Dusty traveled in a pet carrier and was upset for about an hour or so, then calmed down and we rarely heard anything from her either.

Karen also slept quite a bit. She's not used to getting up early and I am an early task master (not such a good thing sometimes), although I am sure she was just exhausted anyway.

As we passed through Flagstaff on our way home, I thought I had really miscalculated the trip back. We would have arrived in Holbrook, Arizona by 2:00pm and I thought, What a waste of good driving time that could get us closer to our destination with fewer days on the road. I was extremely tired and I just wanted to be home in my own house, sleeping in my own bed. I had to make some quick decisions and I decided to call and cancel our prepaid reservations in Holbrook and Amarillo and fight with Travelocity to get my money back after I got home. At that point, I didn't even care if I got my money back.

We drove all the way to Tucumcari and arrived after dark about 7:30 or 8:00pm. Hampton Inn, my favorite place to stay when I travel, does not allow pets, so we had to find a pet friendly motel. I have two words of advice: NO MICRO-TEL! I won't even tell you why, just take my word for it and never stay at one. Okay, yes, I will. Disgusting, smelly, yellow sheets and the kind of carpet you don't want to touch with bare feet! I won't even touch the "lack of ability to communicate"(theirs, not mine) as it would sound extremely racist. But, I was at the end of day four ~ exhausted ~ and this was the only pet-friendly room available.

Long story short, we were home on Saturday instead of Sunday, but they were 5 looooong days of driving. Tom fed us well; I went to bed early; and Tom unloaded the car the next morning. It was my first really good night's sleep in 6 days.

How is Karen doing? It is hard to say. She is sad, of course, but doesn't show it much. She has withdrawn to some degree, but everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. Karen isn't any different. Even though she and Bob never "married," they were as married as any couple. Bob's death has turned her life upside down and inside out. His reckless financial choices and rocky family relationships left Karen with nothing to fall back on except her own strong will. Nothing except Bella and Dusty is as familiar or comfortable in the only way her own home and surroundings can be.

We are just taking things one day at a time...

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~ Charles de Gaulle

Holy shit! His first choice as President is Rahm Emanuel as White House Chief of Staff?? The guy is a ruthless (albiet brilliant) shark!

Okay, I need to take a deep breath and put this in perspective. I guess I don't care if Obama makes a rotten choice for his White House Chief of Staff. I suppose it is okay by me for Emanuel to alienate, bully, and antagonize Obama’s staff all he wants. He won't be making policy decisions and he won't be a strategist. Whew!

I need to just step back and wait patiently to see how this unfolds. Let's just hope, for everyone's sake, that his Cabinet appointments do not mirror this one.

“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.”

No, he wasn't my Democratic choice. Yes, I was still mad about Hillary. That doesn't diminish the fact that America has experienced a monumental, historical moment.

I grew up in the 50's and 60’s. I remember what it was like when blacks were treated like animals by whites. I remember the scientists who tried to validate their racial hatred with "scientific data" that "proved" blacks evolved from apes. I remember seeing George Wallace, governor of Alabama, fighting to keep segregation in his state. I remember watching Arkansas governor Orvil Faubus defy the new integration laws and attempt to prevent black children from entering Little Rock's Central High School. I remember the Civil Rights Movement and hearing Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. give his "I Have a Dream" speech in Washington, D.C. in front of hundreds of thousands of people. His speech still brings tears to my eyes and makes the hair on my arms stand up.

"I have a dream today."

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'"

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood."

"This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

"Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksand of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children."

"Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom to ring — when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children — black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics — will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

I remember it all.

America has made history again and my hope is that everyone, regardless of party, race, gender or religion, will take a moment, if not to celebrate, at least acknowledge, appreciate and be thankful for this moment in history. It is as important as Abraham Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation. It is as important as the 19th Amendment to the Constitution giving women the right to vote. It is as important Apollo 11's landing on the moon's surface and Commander Neil Armstrong's unforgettable words, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." ... and so is our new President Elect, Barack Obama.

Politics, for all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. ~ Richard Armour

I am glad to be home, but very tired still from the drive. The trip was pretty uneventful. I just drove every single day for 6 days. Most days I drove at least 8 hours, one day just 5 hours, another day nearly 12 hours.

My sister, Karen, is settling in, trying to get her bearings. It's hard to imagine how difficult it must be after all that has transpired ~ Bob's long illness, then his death, his funeral, his estate, his family ~ then just walking away from what was left, leaving the home and life she's lived and known for the last 17 years. She hasn't really cried about leaving yet, but I suspect it's coming.

Well, today is election day. All of the speculation, polling, and proselytizing will be over. After two years of campaigning, i.e., blaming, demonizing, belittling, name-calling and b.s.'ing, our new president will finally be elected. I voted early and I'm glad it is just about over, although it has been over for me since I walked out from behind the voting machine almost two weeks ago.

Then, on January 21st, 2009, the day after the inauguration, considering the tone of the campaign, we can quite probably expect more blaming, demonizing, belittling, name-calling and b.s.'ing from both sides as They prepare to stonewall the work They promised would done on our behalf, the American people, if They were privileged to be elected.

I have never seen such ugliness and hate in a campaign, from both sides of the ticket, and even in our local races; not only from the candidates, but from their supporters, as well. For some odd reason, this year someone decided it was okay to reach to the bottom of the muck barrel and abandon all civility whatsoever.

Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about or that "your side", whatever "side" you're on, is completely innocent. There was hatemongering, misogyny and divisive rhetoric on both sides. Conservatives spewed vitriolic hatred of all who would oppose white christian dominance. Liberals, who were supposed to be the party of tolerance, decency and kindness, began to embody the progressive equivalent of Ann Coulter, condemning, ridiculing and mocking the opposition and anyone who questioned or disagreed their chosen candidate.

Don't these people just make you proud to be an American???

This morning, someone (I think it was reporter, John Harwood) called this campaign "Southpark politics" and it was dead-on accurate. This campaign has been truly foul and offensive. Nothing on either side of this campaign was deemed unacceptable and everything was fair game, from sexist comments to religious stereotypes to class slurs to racial accusations.

I'm glad it's over. I hope it's really, really, really over. I am a sadder person to have had to experience this kind of hatred and disrespect toward my fellow Americans in my lifetime.