One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the petty, little things. ~ John Burroughs

It is the morning of New Year's Eve. We don't really have great plans. We rarely do. Often, we don't even make it until midnight. The New Year does not require our participation. It will happen without us. So, we will have dinner at home: a new appetizer I found on Stacey Snacks (Spiedini alla Romana ~ little slices of bread with slices of fresh mozzarella layered in between, dipped in egg, pan fried and served with an anchovy caper sauce; for our main course, Tom's Roast Lemon Chicken with Croutons (not my Tom, but Tom from Bearly Edible. His recipe is simply the best chicken I've ever eaten. And I never would have thought to use croutons instead of potatoes or pasta, but it is amazing!)and some roasted asparagus spears; for dessert, my Tom's Creme Brulee, soft, silky and crunchy all in one bite. Mmmmmm.

I don't know what your year was like. I know for some of you, it brought many changes and challenges. For others, the entire year whipped by without incident. You were fortunate.

If you have been reading my blog for very long, you know that my year was also filled with changes and challenges; some of them painful and permanent, some painful but what I thought would not be permanent, some moments just plain crappy; all of those moments mixed with some incredibly great times, great joys and unbelievable reconnections. I've re-established estranged relationships while other relationships seem beyond repair or resolution. And, through it all, I continue to move forward and try to surround myself with people who support and love me unconditionally.

What have I learned this year? Well, I didn't really learn anything I didn't already know, but what I already knew became so abundantly clear and much more real. First, nothing is permanent. Nothing. Not your job, your relationships, your health, your life. Nothing. Your life and everything you knew about it can change in a split second and, more often than not, there is little you can do about it. Second, people will always surprise you. I used to think I couldn't be surprised by much of anything. I've lived 62 years so far. I've been married to the same man for 40 years and it's been good and bad; but mostly really, really good. We've raised two sons who couldn't be more different from each other. I spent four years training volunteers and answering telephones and counseling distressed people for a suicide and crisis hotline. I've worked for almost 20 years in some form of higher education, dispensing federal aid to students, many of whom attempt to circumvent the system to receive federal money for which they were not eligible. I thought I'd heard and seen just about everything. I was wrong at about that. People actually surprise the hell out of me. Some are at their worst when the chips are down and some are at their best. During my most difficult times, I was surprised by the people who took a hands-off approach, but I was more surprised by the people who rose to the occasion and reached out and supported me and I couldn't be more grateful to them. Now I know that if anything really bad happens to me ~ like cancer, stroke, heart attack, another loss or whatever ~ I know who I can count on, who will reach out, who will hold my hand, who will be there.

In spite of everything, this was a good holiday season for me for the first time in many, many, many years. Rather than living in a foggy holiday depression for a month, I only experienced a couple short bursts of gloom and crying. It wasn't about how I celebrated, where I celebrated, what gifts I gave or received. It was about how I prepared and approached it. I baked lots of cookies and gave most of them away, without regard to whether they were appreciated or not. We decorated the house and yard the weekend before Thanksgiving and I was determined this year I would enjoy having my collection of Santas displayed in the living room...

...and even though it's a fake, I loved having the Christmas tree up, with all of our old ornaments. Next year, I'm buying a real one to decorate.

We decided not to ask for Christmas lists this year. Instead, we bought Christmas gifts based on what we thought people would like without regard to whether it was the newest gadget or how "equal" the items cost. So, some people received gifts that cost maybe only $25, while others received gifts that cost $50. It didn't matter. Each gift was given based the information we had at the time. My favorite gift this year was the gift we bought for Tom's mom at Christina's suggestion. It was a blazer Mom saw in Belk (an upscale department store located exclusively in 16 southern states). We shared the expense of the blazer with Christina, and we all took Tom's parents out to lunch the Saturday before Christmas, where we presented them with their gifts. I have never seen anyone so thrilled with a gift as Tom's mom was when she opened her bag and unwrapped that blazer. She called us two times that afternoon and evening, just to thank us again and to let us know when exactly she was going to wear it and what she was going to wear it with. Then she called again on Sunday to tell us that she was enjoying just looking at the jacket as it hung on a hanger on the doorknob of her bedroom. I can't remember the last time anyone was as excited about and thankful for a gift I've given. It makes up for all the times when other gifts are barely acknowledged.

My only really bad day was this past Monday, the day after we arrived back from Savannah. I think I was just decompressing, but I was in a horrible mood...bitchy, pissy, whiny. Tom and I went to WalMart to do some grocery shopping that afternoon and I bitched and moaned in the car all the way from home, walking from the car into the store and half-way into the store. Finally, I took a deep breath, much to Tom's relief, and said:

Me: I'm sorry. I know I'm whining.
Tom: Honey, you're not whining...you're screaming.
Me: Oh.

And so it went for the entire evening. Fuming, pissy, crying, sobbing. But, when I woke up Tuesday morning I was in a much better mood and ready to plan for this evening and the rest of the weekend.

So, what's in store for next year? Who knows. Like everyone, I have plans, expectations, hopes. I have a new job that I am starting on January 6th and I'm really looking forward to it. I'd like to sell the flip house we remodeled. We've had two offers in the last 30 days...that's more than we've had in the last year and a half...and although both have fallen through, I am still hopeful. I'd still like to run a 5K someday, although I don't think I will be ready for the Savannah Shamrock 5K the first part of March. Mostly, I am trying very hard to just live day to day and enjoy the truly unexceptional things in my life. After the Christmas tree and decorations are put away and things settle down after the holidays, we will resume remodeling our house and maybe even finish it this year. My new AeroGarden is exceeding my expectations and we should be able to harvest some of the herbs in a couple more weeks. Tom and I have started wrapping ourselves in heavy jackets in the evening and taking Goldie for a walk after dinner. We have the rest of our Orpheum Theatre season to go ~ Legally Blonde, the Musical; The Color Purple; Fiddler on the Roof; and finally, Wicked on July 4th weekend. We still have the two boats up at the lake, so I will look forward again to summer.

Instead of making huge plans and burdening myself with unreasonable expectations, I've decided to try to just let things happen and make decisions based on existing circumstances.

I don't remember if it was Carl Jung or Werner Erhard who coined the phrase, "Live in the here and now." But, I think it would be a good way to start the year.

I hope all of you have a peaceful and prosperous year. Be safe.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

I love that little piece of wisdom. It seems like the older I get, the harder it is to suck it up and swallow it, so to speak. If I'm sad, I cry. If I'm mad, I say so.

So, we are back from Savannah. :( The travel trailer we rented worked out okay, with a few little glitches. Tom and I unpacked it this morning; it is cleaned and swept; and Tom is on the road toward home after returning it to River City RV.

The trip is a full 14 to 15 hours pulling a trailer. It's really too long for one day, but just short enough to feel like you don't want to make it into two days of driving. I am tired of driving. It has been a year full of driving very long distances and I'm really tired of it. Worn out, really. I feel like I am worn out to the bone with driving. When I got home last night, I just wanted to sit down and cry.

We had a good time and it was pretty relaxing. I think I logged onto my computer once for a very short time last Tuesday morning until I lost my connection. After that, I put my computer away and didn't even power it up again until this morning. It felt rather freeing actually.

Christmas morning is always fun, but a little chaotic. We had the most fun taking the kids Christmas shopping for their parents on Tuesday. Who would have thought a day at the mall two days before Christmas with three kids, ages 15, 13 and 7, could actually be fun? Before we left for the mall, our 7-year old granddaughter, Hagan, decided that, in addition to the Christmas shopping we had already planned, we should all draw names for Secret Santa gifts. We kept the spending limits pretty low and we all had great fun keeping our Secret Santa names and gifts a secret! It's amazing how much pleasure and fun you can have without spending a ton of money or buying someone the very latest this or that. A fringed scarf or clip-on flower for Bella's collar or travel Scrabble game or a neckerchief for Goldie...very sweet, very well thought out gifts for next to nothing...and every one of them loved and appreciated!

We received a call Saturday from our realtor. We have another offer on the house, but they want us to do owner financing. It would mean that we wouldn't really get our cash out of it for a couple of years. We will see how it works out.

And, I have a part-time job to start after the first of the year...an office manager for a Physical Therapy clinic.

I hope all of you had a wonderful and memorable Christmas and are looking forward to the new year. What are your New Years resolutions? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.

" The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." ~ Peter F. Drucker

Alright, I can't keep quiet about this. I've just been sitting back, waiting, watching, scratching my chin.

Now, President-Elect Obama has selected Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church, an evangelical Christian church in California, to give the inaugural invocation. President-Elect Obama says he made this selection because he wanted a "wide range of viewpoints" to be be presented during the inaugural ceremonies.

Many Democrats who supported the President-Elect are furious with his choice and with good reason. Warren's beliefs are the antithesis of progressive Democrats. He refuses to renounce torture, he's anti-choice, anti-gay, anti-stem cell research and is unapologetic for his positions.

Apparently those supporters weren't really listening to Obama when he spoke of unity. What exactly did they think he meant? That he wanted everyone to unite, but behind his positions and values? That he would reach across the aisle and convince everyone on "the other side" to make a turn to the left? Did those Democrats really believe that would happen? If they did, they were very naive indeed.

So, what will be the inauguration message? More hope and unity? How can Obama provide a positive vision for the country and engage the American people to work toward improving the country for everybody, while giving validity to the views that undermine and contradict his message.

This is why Barack Obama was not my Democratic choice, but he was the Democratic choice of the majority who voted to put him in the White House. Now, our country wants and needs strong decisive leadership...Democratic leadership. Shouldn't President-Elect Obama be taking this opportunity to showcase Democratic viewpoints and values as a signal to the country and world of the change he'll bring to his administration as opposed to those we've endured for the last eight years?

Republicans and evangelicals have dominated the political and social discourse during the entire Bush administration; particularly on issues of sexual orientation and reproductive freedom. Eight years of Bush and right wing domination is enough.

Obama's choice is not a good sign and he doesn't appear to be the committed Democrat we were all hoping for. Obama promoted his "post-partisanship" as the Change We Can Believe In. Apparently, I, like many others wanted something different...like real substantive ideological change. This isn't it.

"Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off." ~ Author Unknown

In case you have been living in a bubble, or maybe not watching the news lately, the entire Midwest, south and east is getting socked with frigid weather and what the weather experts so delicately call "precipitation."

This was our front yard yesterday morning about 7:00am. No...even though this looks lovely and white, this is NOT snow, my dear readers. This is ice...



...little rain droplets frozen solid as they fell to earth and accumulated over the entire state and our own little piece of it. The final measurement was about 2 to 3 inches of ice pack. Don't you love how Tom turned on our Christmas lights to make our yard look like a festive winter wonderland? It's not festive or fluffy or soft, it's frozen...solid. The whole front yard, walkway and driveway were frozen. Our backyard pond was frozen. The edge of the backyard patio was frozen. The whole backyard was frozen. Watching Karen's dog, Bella, a very chubby miniature pinscher that looks like a large smokey sausage with toothpicks for legs, attempt to navigate the ice-covered grass to find the appropriate place to pee was nothing short of hilarious. She could barely keep her back legs underneath her and was nearly splayed out flat a number of times.

Everything closed. Schools; state, county and local offices; businesses; even I-40 was closed for a time yesterday morning because it was too treacherous. "Stay Home!" was the repeated call on any of the local television stations.

So Tom stayed home. "Aren't you glad you get to spend the whole day with me?" he asked, smiling. "Oh. Sure," I responded, not smiling.

Tom staying home on a week day when he has his van loaded with stair parts and tools ready to drive off to parts unknown to install a stairway that he needs to complete before we leave on Monday afternoon is like putting a very wild, very hyper cat in a cage just big enough for him to pace in and then poking him with a stick. He's all over the house, trying to be nice...What are you doing, honey? Can I do something for you?

The next thing I know, he's carrying an arm-load of tools through the house. "I'm gonna cut down those cabinet openings in our bathroom"... and it's only 9:00am. Oh, yeah, this is going to be a fun day.

When he was done with cutting and vacuuming up the sawdust and putting the bathroom back together again, he was, once more, on the move, pacing, looking for something to do. He went through the freezer and refrigerator we keep in the garage, throwing out stuff he thought we would never use or was too old to keep. I wanted to ask what he was throwing out, but I was afraid to interrupt for fear he would move on to something else. So I didn't question, I just let him go and do his thing. He pulled out some frozen leftovers for dinner, then said, "I'm going to the store for just a couple of things for dinner." I helped him put together a list of grocery items and he was off...very, very slowly. He was one of only about 3 or 4 other cars on the ice-covered road. Luckily our grocery store is literally just around the corner...and it kept him occupied for about 10 minutes more. By now it is only 10:30am.

Once he was back from the store and the groceries were put away, he was on the move again. I was in the office working and he was sitting in the chair next to me asking questions, looking over my shoulder. I swung my chair around, looked him in the eye and said, as calmly as I could muster, "Tom, go clean the garage."

He laughed, raised himself up from the chair and headed out to the garage. He encountered Karen coming out of her room and as he walked by her said, "I'll be in the man-cave." And it was finally quiet and still.

The garage is spotless. Everything is picked up. The boxes we had accumulated from Christmas shopping online are disassembled and in a neat pile for recycling. The sails he brought home from the boat a few weeks ago are folded neatly and resting on top of the stacked coolers. Everything is put away or stacked neatly out of the way. The floor is swept clean and we can now easily walk around the car.

From that project, he finally settled into the den and pulled out a couple of shoot-em-up-guys-only movies from our collection. The rest of the afternoon, all I heard from the other side of the house was: Bang! Pew, pew! Blam! Thwap! Bang! interspersed with loud, ominous music. And I was taking a few deep breaths.

The up side was that I was able to finish addressing our Christmas cards and Tom fixed the entire dinner.

The down side was that once he was done fixing dinner, he was still in go-mode and wanted eat right away. I just wanted to sit down for a few minutes at the kitchen island and watch a little of the news because I had been working in the office most of the day. "Give me 10 minutes, would ya!"

Tom walked over to the microwave and hit the timer. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"You are always telling me to set the timer when I'm in the kitchen. Well, we're in the kitchen, he said with a sarcastic grin.

Okay, that did it.



Meet Mommy's little helper. A dirty martini. 4 green olives on a skewer. 1/2 shot of olive juice and 2 shots of Ketel One vodka that we keep in the freezer. Eat one olive, take a sip of the martini, close your eyes, swallow slowly, breathe deeply. Repeat.

It's that or shoot him.

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating;.....

.....there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather. ~ John Ruskin

John Ruskin obviously never lived in a part of the country where ice storms are common winter occurrences.

Today the forecast is for an ice storm later today and tomorrow. We had freezing rain already this morning and it is expected to be much worse later today as the temperature drops. And, it's technically not even winter yet.

Yesterday it 65 degrees. This morning at 7:00am is was 34 degrees. The temperature has since dropped to 30 degrees and counting. Perfect gift wrapping and cookie baking weather, but not good for much else.

We attended a different church yesterday...Crosspoint. It's new, like Grace was when we first started going there. But, even though Crosspoint is a fairly new church, just beginning to build the congregation, it felt very familiar. Our former pastor's wife, Marsha, was there, as was her son, Charlie. Charlie and his wife had twin boys just 10 weeks ago and we got to visit them in the nursery (Marsha is very excited about being a new grandma). Chris (a woman I first met while serving on a jury in Federal court) and her husband, David, were there, too. And, of course, the pastor, Tammy, who was assistant pastor at Grace Church when we attended there after the first building project was completed. Crosspoint is small, but warm and welcoming. The music was a mixture of old hymns and new Christian music. Rather than a piano or organ, the band was comprised of a guitar, bass and drums. Tammy's sermon was inspiring and heartfelt. She personalized the message with own stories of her childhood and Girl Scout activities. It's not easy to humanize biblical characters, but Tammy related the story of the shepherds to the "shepherds" in each one of us...often crass, mannerless, rude, living on the outskirts, out of the mainstream. It was perfect.

Tom and I lingered after service, chatting and getting caught up, and when we got in the car we just looked at each other and knew this is where we should be going to church.

Later in the day, Tammy dropped by to thank us for attending and we had a really nice conversation about her vision for the future of the church. She invited us to participate in any way we feel comfortable. Tom jumped in with both feet and offered to build at least one kneeling rail and an alter. Now that he has committed himself, he will beat himself up until he finishes them...every Sunday after church he will come home and say, I have to get those done. I have to get those finished. I'm not sure where I want to contribute, but I know at some point an opportunity will present itself.

Of course, Tammy left me with a little tidbit to ponder this week and perhaps beyond. We were discussing people, change, churches and how different people and personalities react to changes within a church, like a change in pastors or programs or service styles. Somewhere during our conversation Tammy said, "Maybe you guys have the desire and the talent for starting churches..." When she said it, I had a little Thwap! I could have had a V8! moment. To say the least, she presented a very interesting perspective which I have been pondering silently ever since.

So, today...I am wrapping gifts and the several kinds of Christmas cookies I baked this last week so I can get them ready to ship.

But, since I was discussing church today I thought I would leave you with another quote, that unless you live in the Baptist bible belt, you won't really understand how accurate it is...

"There are three religious truths:

1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah,

2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith, and

3) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters."

~ Author Unknown

Or, like the joke our pastor, Bob, told during a sermon one morning:

Do you know the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist? When you meet a Methodist in the liquor store they'll look you in the eye and say Hello.

Have a Great Week!

Just a Few Tidbits...

Sorry, no Some Things Friday today. It takes about 2-1/2 hours to write it and I don't have that kind of time right now.

Today, I will go for my walk/run. Then I will come home and make those Marinated Ham Sandwiches and store them in the freezer until it's time to leave for Chris' house a week from Monday. We've rented a travel trailer for the trip. It's A LOT cheaper than a hotel, and we can take Goldie (our dog) and Bella (Karen's dog), which saves on boarding, too. We will pull it with the gas-guzzling, giant carbon footprint making Expedition. So shoot me.

The travel trailer has a queen bed and two single bunk beds, plus a dinette, kitchenette (refrigerator, stove, oven, microwave). Nice. It should be comfortable for our trip. We will have a place for all of our clothes and such and I will take my laptop so I can at least post a couple little items and receive my emails.

If you've read my Twitter updates, you know that we received an offer on the house we purchased to flip. It was a low-ball offer...a real low-ball offer, and we submitted a counter-offer that expired yesterday, but we did hear from our realtor yesterday afternoon. The potential buyer was going to allow our counter-offer to expire, but will write up a new one to include his wife. They apparently didn't say anything about countering our counter-offer, so I am anxious to see if they do. I am hoping this is a sale. The house has been on the market for over a year now and I'm tired of paying the utilities. Cross your fingers.

About my post yesterday...I still want to write about how I feel. It's just that I'm so preoccupied now with Christmas coming and cooking and baking and such...

But, since I am briefly discussing my childhood and my family, this morning I came across something fun and interesting.

I occasionally read a blog called Altadena Hiker. Yesterday she posted the following little character study based your birth order.

Birth order can include one of the following characteristics:

Oldest:Do you write in perfect 4th grade cursive? Are you bossy? Are you nurturing and bossy? Are you wealthy or at least constantly employed? Do you always want to find your inner-self, but fear you never will? Are you a tortured free spirit? Can you cook?

Middle:Are you a tortured free spirit? Have you been married more than twice? Have you ever been arrested, and did an older sibling get you off the rap with a slap on the wrist? Have you ever ghostwritten anything? Are you completely independent (except when arrested)? Is employment of any kind a problem? Can no one read your signature? Do you open a tin of refried beans and throw in some onions and call it a meal?

Youngest: Are you incredibly spoiled, yet deeply treasured and encouraged by all? Is employment any kind of a problem? Can you even sign your name? Are you a tortured free spirit? Does your mother send you cans of refried beans with instructions for using the can opener?

Only child: Are you a bit of all the above?

So, where are you in this list?

If you haven't guessed by now (if you are not related to or know me personally), I am the oldest of four other sisters. And, about the traits for the "oldest," well, sadly, I plead guilty.

"Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not. " ~ Henri Frederic Amiel

I suppose, loosely interpreted, that means you can't be all things to all people. I chose the title today for a specific reason, but one I really don't have time to explore right now.

It is nearly 8:00am. I have a lot to do today. I have to shower and drive to Little Rock this morning... a stop at the dreaded WalMart owned Sam's Club, then head over to Belk, with a photo from the internet in hand, to see if I can find a pretty black and red jacket for my mother-in-law for Christmas that "is too expensive to wear." My sister-in-law, Christina, and us will go into together to buy it IF Belk has one. After that across the parking lot to Fresh Market. Then to Kroger on the way home.

When I get home, I have to bake more cookies, wrap gifts and because I didn't get out yesterday for my walk/run, I am hoping I will be doing that today.

But, back to the title of this post. I went to sleep last night thinking about a lot of things, chief among them was a post Robin wrote yesterday on her Myspace blog. I wanted to read it again this morning, but she had changed access to it to only a "preferred" list, a member of which I guess I am not because I couldn't access it. My point is that it was a sad essay about parts of her life and where her experiences have led her and where she fits in. Although our adult life paths have been very, very different, we've had experiences that triggered similar internal responses and challenges.

...."learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not." Growing up, I always wanted to be somewhere else. I never felt like I fit in, even with my own family. I tried so hard for years to be someone else...I wanted to be someone other than who I was; wanted to be part of a family that was the opposite of mine; wanted to be hugged and loved unconditionally for being just me, not because I was "good" or "feminine" or "sat quietly" or didn't argue or, or, or...

I finally, somewhere along the line, gave up wanting, needing to be all things to all people. I thought, at one point, that I finally stopped trying to define myself by what other people wanted me to be and I so desperately wanted to be for them, but I had only narrowed the scope. I continued trying to be all things to just a few people...the people that I loved the most, Tom and the boys. The basic problem remained...I hadn't shed those things that I wasn't.

Whew! A very heavy topic for so darn early in the morning and too much for this one on-the-fly post. It deserves the respect of a well thought-out examination...on another day.

Devastating, Earth Shattering, Very, Very Bad News !!

Oprah is at 200 pounds.

I'm so depressed now. Pass the chips and dip...

Most people run a race to see who is fastest. I run a race to see who has the most guts. ~ Steve Prefontaine

So you think you are physically fit?

No matter what you do... run a mile or maybe even a marathon, do 100, 200, or 500 sit-ups, 500 pull-ups, do an hour in the gym on the elliptical...I don't care what it is that you do to keep in shape, it will NEVER match Tori Boggs, the 12-year-old national record holder for the one-minute single rope speed and 3-minute single rope speed jump. Tori's record for the one-minute speed record is an amazing 359 jumps.

We watched JUMP! the other night on HBO. I was floored, amazed and dazzled by Tori Boggs.

In this video, Tori competes in a 30-second single rope speed jump competition and jumps the rope 151 times...that's over 5 times per second! I'm not lyin'. Watch the video for yourself.

30 sec speed


Not only does this little girl set records, she does it with a slight disability. She has exercise-induced asthma.

I don't know about you, but I can't even move my feet that fast, let alone jump a rope! I am officially a wimp!

But, if you think you can match Tori's skills, please send me the video. But, I won't hold my breath... just sayin'

It is often hard to distinguish between the hard knocks in life and those of opportunity. ~ Frederick Phillips

I am in the office and Karen is in the next room. I am listening to her talk to her cat. It is like hearing my mother's voice...raspy and deep from years of cigarette smoking, even all of our mother's little intricate voice intonations. It's quite spooky actually.

It's been adjustment for all of us since Karen moved in. She left her life and home of 17 years behind to live in a town and house that is unfamiliar with a sister and brother-in-law she really barely knows, since we have only re-connected after as many years of no contact. Our lifestyles are completely different.

Tom and I are in bed early, sometimes before 9:00pm. We will often watch television until about 10:00pm and then it's lights out for us. Then we are up early; often around 6:30am without the help of an alarm of any kind; just our own inner clocks, ready to meet whatever the day has in store.

Karen stays up late into the night and goes to bed somewhere around 2:00am to 4:00am and although she has begun setting her alarm for around 9:30am, she usually rises somewhere between 11:00 and noon. She seems perfectly happy and comfortable with her schedule.

I have a difficult time understanding that kind of lifestyle. This morning, by the time she got up, I'd prepared a priority mail envelope for Chris, sent two emails and answered three others, written and posted an entry on my food blog, done two loads of laundry, made my bed, drove to the park and did my walk/run (Yaaaa!!), stopped at the store to pick up a couple of things, stopped at the post office to drop off the priority mail envelope and then drove home. By the time I walked in the door at 12:15, she was just getting up. I don't know how she does it. I could not survive on that schedule. I need a certain amount of sunlight to exist. Five hours (from noon to about 5:00pm) of sunlight is not enough for me. She doesn't seem to need sunlight at all.

When she first moved in a little over a month ago, I tried to be real quiet in the morning. I'd put off doing some of my chores because they were noisy, like vacuuming. It put me behind and I was doing all the chores in the afternoon that I would normally accomplish in the morning and I'd still be finishing up when Tom walked in the door in the evening. That just didn't work. Now, I just do my chores in the morning anyway and it doesn't seem to bother her. I'm glad and relieved that our lifestyles and schedules can co-exist.

What I have come to realize is that she is not me. She has a history and a lifestyle that has been established over her lifetime. It has worked for her. Same goes for me. Tom and I have spent 40 years together establishing our lifestyle. It works for us. Neither of us are going to change what works in our lives.

It reminds me of a scene in the movie, Evan Almighty, where Morgan Freeman (playing God, pretending to be a waiter a a restaurant) sits down at a table with Evan's wife, Joan. Joan is completely frustrated with Evan, who believes that he has been called by God to build an Ark and she is ready to leave him. As she is airing her frustrations to Morgan Freeman, he says to her:

"Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"

Pretty profound for a movie, huh? Like I told Robin the other day in an email, I've been given opportunities to be patient and tolerant. I think I'm doing pretty well, too.

Some Things Friday for December 5, 2008

It's been quite a week. It has not been particularly busy...I haven't been running around a lot Christmas shopping and the like because I've been doing my shopping online, but it seems like a lot has happened anyway, and I can't figure out why. I guess it doesn't matter much.

So, let's end the week with a bang...

Some Things I Love:

1. The weather has finally turned cold and I get to wear my turtleneck shirts. Now I would gladly give them up and throw them away if I lived somewhere...oh, like Florida...where turtlenecks are simply the necks of turtles and not considered part of your wardrobe. But until then, if they are in my closet, then bring on the weather that forces me to pull them out and wear them...OCCASIONALLY!

2. My 13-year-old grandson, Tommy, makes me laugh even when he's not trying to. He has this picture on his Myspace page......Now, there really isn't anything particularly funny about the photo, until you read the caption he gave it. It reads, I'M SO SEXY. It makes me giggle. I suppose you just have to be his grandma to see the humor in it.

3. I bought an Aerogarden. I had been thinking about it for quite awhile, but when I opened the refrigerator Thanksgiving morning and saw the packets of basil I bought on Wednesday looked like this on Thursday, it cinched it...
...$4.00 for those wilted, shriveling leaves! Already the Italian basil, purple basil, dill, chives and thyme are sprouting and the parsley and mint should sprout in the next couple of days. I will be posting the progress on my food blog, Terri's Table.

4. I am done (except for my sister, Karen) with my Christmas shopping and every single item I ordered online has been shipped! Whooo Hooo!

5. Okay, this is a first in I can't remember how many years. I AM NOT DEPRESSED !!...and I am trying really, really hard not to analyze it to death to figure out why I'm not depressed. But I'm just not. I have been depressed every single Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday for as long as I can remember, back when I was even a teenager. I'd withdraw, get all melencholy and sad, cry at the drop of a hat, can't listen to Christmas music, hated Christmas shopping, blah, blah, blah... I'm not this year. Double Whooo Hooo!

Some Things I Hate:

1. News this past Monday that my youngest son, Chris, was laid off from his job. No notice, no nothing... just "see ya!"... and right before Christmas. Please keep him in your thoughts or prayers that he finds something else soon.

2. They're baaaack! Groveling once again for a bail out...er, bridge loan. This time, instead of flying in their individual luxury private airplanes, the poor bastards had to drive a car. And not a luxury car, but a hybrid because now they "get it." Too bad they didn't "get it" a few years ago BEFORE they were leading the fight against automobile emission control laws and building cars and trucks bigger than my house. I think my son, Mike, used to use the perfect response to a ridiculous request and it goes something like this...EAT MY SHORTS! It takes b@lls to take millions of dollars in salaries and bonuses while simultaneously running a company into the ground and ask the federal government to bail you out, and for at least one of those CEO's, it won't be the first time. Don't get me started...

3. This season's Grey's Anatomy sucks! Izzy is having mind-blowing sex with the ghost of her dead fiancee, Denny. Mary McDonell is playing a "brilliant" cardiac surgeon with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism, who, in real life, would never have made it through medical school because of her inability to communicate with patients. I can't wait for the season to be over...and maybe even the program altogether! It's just almost creepy.

4. Las Vegas. I have this unexplainable, excessive, unreasonable dislike for Las Vegas.

5. That this horrible economy is starting to trickle down and effect the people that I know and love. It would be nice for it to trickle UP for a change.

Some Things I Just Don't Get:

1. Speaking of television, the Barbara Walters special, The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008, was on last night. I didn't watch it. First of all, we all knew who the most fascinating person would be. Who wants to watch a program when you know the ending? But, the real reason I didn't watch was because when I saw the faces of Tom Cruise and Rush Limbaugh in the promo, I thought, No Way! Can someone give me a hint or something as to why anyone in their right and rational mind would consider Rush Limbaugh fascinating??

2. When I call Customer Service for ANY company, I always wind up talking to someone in another country. Last week I called HP about my printer and I was talking to someone in India. It would really be nice to, just once, have a conversation with a Customer Service representative and not have to say half a dozen times, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

3. Is it just me? What is the thing the movie industry has about Nicole Kidman?

4. How on earth did Wolf "Uh, uh" Blitzer ever get his own show? How on earth did he ever get to be an anchor? "Thanks..uh..Jack, for that..uh..interesting..uh..commentary." I'm sure he flunked his college speech class.

5. NASCAR. A whole bunch of really noisy cars driving around in a circle... okay, oval... 500 times. Call me when they start the last lap. Better yet, don't call me at all because I DON'T CARE!!

Today and this weekend are for baking. I have three bananas in the fruit bowl that are lookin' like they are on their last legs. I guess my first batch this morning will be Banana Walnut Coconut Bread.

Have a good weekend everyone!

My UPS Delivery Person Can Beat Up Your UPS Delivery Person...

What do you call excitement at your house? A fire truck, ambulance or police car rushing to your neighbor's house? A two car accident right in front of your driveway? Hearing gun shots nearby?

None of those apply to me... well, I take that back...

• When we lived in the country, we did hear gunshots quite often, particularly in the fall and spring (after all, this is Arkansas and there's not a fat squirrel safe when there's a man with a gun ~ and yes, they really eat them, but that's another blog). And one time someone who lived about 15 acres behind us was shooting an automatic weapon of some kind and we could hear bullets whizzing through our big oak tree near our house Uh, yes, we went inside AND called the Sheriff...


• And, right after we moved into this house we had a little, eensy, beensy problem with the 17 year old party girl across the street and after we called the local and very responsive police department, there were, much to the surprise of everyone up and down the street and much to the dismay of party girl, several police cars and police officers who practically took up residence on our block...


• Oh, yeah, and about the accident. Well, it wasn't in front of my house, it was literally IN my house. We lived in a house just about 5 doors down from where we live now and the adult neighbor across the street from that house asked his teenage son to go into the garage and start his car... which he did... but he also put the car in reverse...and he also stepped on the gas pedal...HARD...and voila! We had two garages...one built when the house was constructed and a brand new one thanks to the teenager who decided it might be a good idea to convert the front bedroom into another garage...

But, I digress. I was really talking about excitement and my UPS delivery person.

This, of course, is the Christmas season and I am doing Christmas shopping and I do a lot of shopping online. I am used to my UPS and FedEx delivery people putting the packages on the front porch, ringing the doorbell and heading back to the truck before I can even get to the door. As I am picking up my package, I am usually waving and yelling "hello!" to a moving truck.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when I opened my front door and my UPS delivery man was still standing there.

"You had a rat on your front porch," he said.

For lack of a better response, I said, "What?"

"You had a rat on your front porch. He ran over there under the drain spout. This time o' year their lookin' for warm places. He was right there by your front door. See, you can even see he left some droppings. I hate them things. Do you want me to kill him for you? If you've got a broom, I can kill him for you."

Yes, indeed, the rat left poop right there in the corner by the front door, proof positive. And I wasn't about to let an offer like that go without acceptance. And, although there were all kinds of really sarcastic responses going through my head, like No, of course, I don't have a broom because I like my house with dirt, dust and animal hair all over the floor, I simply put my hand on his shoulder and said, "If you'll kill him, I'll get the broom."

And, so the chase began, back and forth across the flower bed... Swish!...Whack!...a piece of the broom flew across the sidewalk. I was standing in the middle of the porch when Mr. UPS took his third Whack! and the rat turned quickly towards my direction, ran right across the porch in front of my feet and stopped underneath the glider bench that sits in front of the living room window. I stepped backwards ~ okay it was actually more like I jumped backwards and squealed (what a freakin' girl I am) ~ as Mr. UPS jumped in front of me, towards the rat and rammed the broom underneath the glider. The rat ran in the opposite direction to the other end of the porch and attempted to climb up and hide in the corner.

"I got him now!" Mr. UPS said.

Indeed he did. He gave one good Whack! and the rat stopped running and climbing, but managed to walk away from the house to the flower bed chased again by the ferocious broom. Again, Whack!. The rat stopped moving, but was twitching a little. Then, one more Whack! The rat was still.

Mr. UPS stopped, bent over and looked intently at the rat. After a few seconds he said, "I think I only knocked him out. Can I use this rock?" He put his hand on one of the decorative rocks in the flower bed.

"Use the rock," I responded. But as he lifted the rock, I averted my eyes. I didn't want a live rat, but I also didn't want to witness such a gruesome end.

I heard two Thuds...then "I got blood on the rock."

I opened my eyes and thought, Ewwwww! Thanks for sharing!, but I said out loud, "That's okay."

"Man, I hate them things," he repeated and then proceeded to tell me the story of when he was building his house and they came across a nest...Ewwww, ewwww, ewww...

When he was finished with his story, he handed me the broom and said, "I'll let you dispose of him."

I took the broom and thanked him...oh probably 10 times.

As he said, "You're welcome," he turned... jogged across the lawn...his manly muscles rippling beneath his brown shirt sleeves... headed back to the big, brown truck...into the sunset...too much??

I did dispose of the dead rat but it's hard to do when you are trying really hard not to look at a crushed rat skull. I got a plastic grocery bag and a long pair of BBQ tongs. I picked him by the tail with the tongs (at this point thinking that if he even twitched I would drop him like a hot potato, scream and do a little horsey trot back to the house) and dropped him in the bag. Then I tied the bag closed with two knots and dropped the bag into the trash can.

So, now I will answer your questions before you ask them...

• No, my neighborhood is not filthy. I think the rat came from the field that separates us from the Kroger supermarket behind our house


• Yes, I am sure it was a rat and not a mouse. Very fat, very long tail


• Yes, I'm sure it was dead, even though I tried not to look


• Yes, I suppose it could have been someone's pet, but it's not now


• Yes, I tied the burial bag really, really tight... just in case


• And, Gawd no, I did not take pictures... you are just sick...

The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. ~ Author Unknown

It is almost 9:30am... actually 9:27am to be exact. I've been up since about 7:00am and already posted on my food blog (if you want to read it, the link is on the sidebar). Karen is still in bed but her alarm will probably go off in about three minutes. I am still in my pajamas, sitting at the computer with a fresh cup of coffee and a date scone, a batch of which I made day before yesterday. Looks like I will be here awhile.

I am procrastinating ~ oops, there goes Karen's alarm. I should be in and out of the shower by now and getting some work done; some stuff for Tom's business (just simple bookkeeping and bill paying) and then starting my Christmas baking, but I'm not in the mood. I don't know why.

Funny thing, I'm not depressed. I know I've written before about my annual looming HOLIDAY DEPRESSION echo, echo, echo... But it has yet to set in and Thanksgiving is over and we are well on our way to Christmas. That's a good thing, but I'm still procrastinating. I haven't finished my Christmas shopping yet. I have no idea...literally NO IDEA...what to get some family members. I guess I'll just wing it. If they love it, great! If they don't... well I guess they just don't. And, like most everyone (except those nutty Black Friday shoppers), we are cutting back quite a bit on gift giving this year.

Yesterday I spent nearly the entire day in front of the computer doing genealogy work for my side of the family and late in the day came across another family tree that has traced my Dad's side of the family all the way back to our great great great great grandparents in Norway and Denmark as early as 1737! Yes, six generations, counting my Dad and his Dad. I was so excited! Now, I just have to find of my Grandmothers' families.

Our Christmas decorations are up, including our Christmas tree. I'll post pictures later this week. Tom put up the all of the outside stuff really early this year, so we were able to relax for the entire four day Thanksgiving holiday, except for Thanksgiving Day, of course. Unfortunately, I got one of my back spasm thingys, but I was able to pinpoint why I get them so I will be able to hopefully avoid them in the future. The reason is not very interesting, so I won't even bother to post it here (that is, unless you all complain about me not posting it). Anyway, I spent the better portion of Thanksgiving evening with an ice pack on my back and then a hot pad, and did the same on Friday. By Saturday, I was a lot better, but we realized that four days - okay, technically three days - with nothing planned is, in a word, BORING. I finally took the opportunity to just sit quietly and read. It was like taking a deep breath. I nearly finished my book on Sunday and by Monday I felt energized and ready for the month of December.

So, as I have been writing this, I have also been doing some Christmas shopping (I had a couple of bright ideas ~ at least hopefully the recipients will think so). Now I am almost done (thank God for the internet) and it really is time to take a shower, put a load in the washer and get to work.

Have a great day!

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." ~ Emily Brontë

Today is December 1st and today my son, Chris, and his wife, Kelly, are celebrating their 19th wedding anniversary. They now have three children: Jacob, age 15, Thomas, age 13 and Hagan, age 7.

I've looked all through the large plastic storage container for photos of their wedding, but couldn't find any. I think I may have given all of the pictures to them.

I did keep two small tangible reminders. The first is the newspaper announcement of their wedding:



and one lonely napkin from their reception:



But I have so many memories of their life together so far.

• Their wedding ~ even though it was December 1st, we hosted their wedding reception at our house, around the pool. We rented large propane heaters to place between tables and chairs; strung clear lights throughout the trees behind the deck and wrapped the railing with them; set up the bar underneath the vine covered lanai; and floated flowers and pink hearts in the pool. It was beautiful.


• For Christmas the next year, we gave each of our sons tickets to see original The Phantom of the Opera (with the phenomenal Michael Crawford) and we all dressed up ~ men in tuxedos, women in cocktail dresses ~ and were driven by chauffeured limousine from our homes in San Diego to the theater in Los Angeles, complete with champagne.


• Kelly, Tom and I set our fears aside and pooled our resources to give Chris the skydiving lesson and jump he wanted for his birthday. He survived without injury and has the tape to prove it.


• The plane trip they took from Savannah to Lake Tahoe after Hagan was born to visit us and Mike and his family.


• The trip Chris and Kelly took to New York and Tom and I got to stay with the kids in Savannah.


• My family-reunion-that-wasn't two years ago, but Chris and Kelly made the trip anyway. We camped, skied, swam and had a great time.


• And Tom's family-reunion-that-was last summer, again at the lake. For the family dinner we hosted Chris made his awesome ribs (you can get the recipe here) and Kelly made Roasted Asparagus with Orange. We swam, skied and enjoyed everyone's company. It was a very fun 5 days.

It is impossible to recount 19 years of memories, but I want them to know how proud I am of them for hanging in there, through good and bad. While so many couples give up so quickly, they have made a life-long commitment to each other. Their love for each other extends far beyond the two of them, embracing their children, their family and friends.

Happy Anniversary !!