Not a break for me really, but I won't be posting until next week.
I am leaving this morning for Las Vegas, where I will gather together my sister, her belongings and her critters and bring them back here to live with us for a while.
Please say a prayer or think good thoughts that my trip will go well and be uneventful.
We will arrive home next Sunday, so I will post my experiences and photos next week.
I'm swamped, moving stuff out of one room into three or four other rooms to make the one room comfortable and roomy for my sister's arrival.
But, I had to take a little break and peruse the internet for any and all breaking or non-breaking news. In doing so, I ran across this and I thought I'd share it. It asks a simple question...
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
NANCY PELOSI: To get to the middle
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as s simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: How did I miss one? "
I'm sorry. I am in a hurry. I haven't posted hardly at all this week, although a lot has transpired. The job interview went well... that is to say that I actually enjoyed it. I won't know until at least next week whether or not I made the cut. But it's okay if I didn't.
I am leaving next week (not sure of the day) to drive to Las Vegas to pick up my sister, Karen. After losing her life partner, Bob, after 17 years, she will stay with us while she saves for a car and her "forever house."
I will probably post something a little more in depth over the weekend, but I will leave you on a Friday night with... a commercial, of all things.
I can't remember when I have really loved a commercial. This one makes me giggle every time I see it. I don't know why. I guess it doesn't even matter. I just love it.
This is for every person who ever felt out of place, out of touch or out in left field.
I have never watched the television series, The Office. I've seen commercials for it and it doesn't really interest me. But I love Steve Carell movies. He brings a real vulnerability and genuineness to the characters he portrays.
I hesitated for a long time before I watched the 40-Year-Old Virgin, but, after I finally broke down and watched it, I thought it was funny. I liked Evan Almighty, but for different reasons which I won't get into now. I doubt seriously that I will bother with Get Smart. I didn't think the television series was funny, so I figure why bother with the movie.
Dan in Real Life was my favorite. The story is about Dan Burns (Steve Carell), a newspaper columnist, widower and father to three young daughters, Jane (about 16), Cara (14), and Lily (a 4th grader). Dan takes his family on a trip to his parents home for an annual family get together. Cara doesn't want to go because she doesn't want to leave her boyfriend, with whom she says she fell in love in just three days. But Dan insists that it's not possible to fall in love in three days, and he makes her go.
There is, of course, the obligatory parallel story of Dan falling for his brother's new girlfriend and how they try to deny their feelings for each other while in such close proximity. That part is funny, too.
For me, the funniest part of the movie is when Cara's boyfriend shows up at Dan's parents' home and, in front of the entire family, Dan sends him home, leaving Cara to chase the car down the driveway after him, sobbing. She stops as the car turns away onto the road, Cara turns and throws herself on the grass and screams at her father through her tears, "You're a murderer !!.... of love !!"
To me, there is just something so precious and pure yet so comical about the intensity of a 14 year old's feelings, sensibilities and perspective and her father's awkwardness and mild exasperation in dealing with them. I really relate to this guy.
Okay, maybe you just have to watch it for yourself. I hope you do.
Halloween is a week from this coming Friday, then we start planning for Thanksgiving, although I am already planning in my head.
Since Christina and Bill hosted Thanksgiving dinner at their house last year, dinner will be at our house this year, but I won't be serving dinner according to the football schedule. As a matter of fact, I might just be mean enough to check the Thanksgiving Day football schedules and serve dinner during the actual play of a really important game. Of course, that would mean that I would actually have to know which game was really important, and that would take some research on my part into a subject I care absolutely nothing about and be completely bored to death for the XXX number of minutes that it would take me to pinpoint the exact time of day that would be the most excruciating for a football lover to leave the television. So, scratch that plan. I'll just set a time and hope.
Anyway, of course, we will have a turkey, but I'd like to do something a little different this year. Not sure what, but it's early and I have plenty of time to plan.
Saturday morning, I put the first coat of paint on my kitchen cabinet doors that have been sitting in the garage, primed and sanded, since the end of August, although our kitchen has looked like this since long before then.
Last summer, my grandson, Tommy, asked me if I really liked having people see what's in my cupboards. I wanted to answer, no, Tommy, I'm just lazy, but I didn't really get into that. I just gave him a long winded, CYA answer, which seemed to suffice.
Now that fall has finally arrived, along with cooler weather, I have my mojo back and I'm ready to paint again. The problem... now I have to wait until it warms up enough to paint. God, I'm such an idiot!
I've been baking some. If you've read my other blog, Terri's Table, you will know that I made some sourdough starter that turned out really well and used my mom's recipe for Sourdough Onion Bread. It was really good. Tom sliced up what remained and made toast with it every other day for a week until it was gone. I made some Gingerbread Cake Cookies with Orange Glaze on Saturday afternoon. They have a softer, cakey texture, different than the usual gingerbread cookie, and they aren't quite as spicy. I don't know that I will add that recipe to my Christmas cookie baking list yet. I'll take some to Rob and Amanda next door and get their take on this new version.
On another note, I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but I have a job interview on Thursday. Nothing spectacular, it's a position with the state and the department of human services. I'm not sure if I want it yet; I'll know more after the interview. It won't be like working at the university (no two weeks off at Christmas, which I loved!!), but I would begin accumulating vacation and sick leave at the same accelerated rate as when I left the university, it would provide us with really good health insurance and it would help upgrade my retirement benefits, so I thought, why not take a look at it. Sure, why not. Plus I wouldn't have to commute to Little Rock. It's right here in town. We will see.
Oh, the real estate license thing? Yeah, well, the classes were fun and interesting, but after not being able to sell our house in the country and the fiasco surrounding that failed sale, then working on our flip, trying to sell it and the market tanking just in time... well, I'm thinkin' I have real bad real estate karma and I best rethink my future.
Well, I haven't done one of these in a while, but I'm feeling rather wordy this morning, so here goes...
Some Things I Love:
1. My husband, Tom. We will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary on Sunday. We are staying home and he's cooking. The menu: Appetizer ~ Pesto Croustades with Tomato Bruschetta Topping; Main Course ~ Tournadoes of Beef with Blue Cheese Glacage with Bacon and Green Onion Mashed Potatoes and Roasted Asparagus; Dessert ~ Creme Brulee; plus a bottle of Moet-Chandon White Star Champagne that has been in the refrigerator for a couple of years just waiting for the perfect occasion. I definitely think this occasion fits the bill.
2. The weather has cooled off significantly the last few days. This morning the temp outside was 47. Yesterday afternoon, anticipating the cool down, I put the lightweight down comforter on the bed. It turned out to be perfect and oh so cozy.
3. I know. She looks like just a lump on the carpet, but I love this dog.
Goldie is such an easy going dog. I've never heard her growl or bark. Now this may change when my sister arrives with her dog. Perhaps Goldie will learn how to be a real dog.
4. We finally finished the pond area. You might remember when we first dug the pond in May. When you look at those older photos you can see the grass around the pond. Well, that was then and this is now...
I will eventually make stepping stones to represent each of my sons, daughters-in-law, my grandchildren and Tom and me and those will be nested in the gravel. We planted water plants to help reduce the production of algae and bought six goldfish and six plecostomus (affectionately known at our house as merely "bottom suckers" or "suckers," for short) to keep mosquitoes at bay. Somewhere we acquired a lone tadpole which has grown into a full fledged frog that spends most of his (or her) time nestled safely on the rock just below the water's surface. Perhaps by spring, we will have baby goldfish, suckers and tadpoles. Just more mouths to feed.
5. I don't think I mentioned yet how much we enjoyed our visit to Memphis and the musical, Avenue Q. We arrived in Memphis early afternoon, checked into our hotel and walked over to Beale Street to B.B. King's where we caught an impromptu audience participation segment. The female singer (an African-American woman) invited 4 audience members (4 white women) up on stage to dance with her during a Tina Turner song medley which ended, of course, with Proud Mary. Folks, if white men can't jump, white women can't dance. It was simply embarrassing, but fun.
When it was time we headed up the street to the Orpheum Theatre for Avenue Q. I was able to get a photo of the stage with my phone before the play started...
The humor was racy and rather..er...indelicate, but we laughed until we cried. When the play was over, we walked up Main Street and ate out on the patio of a restaurant not far from the theater. Halfway through our meal, David Benoit, the actor who played one of the main (and funniest) characters in the musical, came strolling by. I looked at Tom and said, "Isn't that the guy in the play?" David Benoit stopped and said, "Yes, I am." We each shook his hand and thanked him for the wonderful evening. Tom asked him to autograph our program (shut up...I know it's freakin' goofy, but I don't care). We thanked him again and he was again on his way up the street. After dinner, we headed back to our hotel, stopped at McEwan's on Monroe for a nightcap and great conversation. It was a perfect evening.
Some Things I Hate:
1. Jesus, I cannot wait for this election to be over.
2. I wish Bush would stop making statements about the economy. Every time he opens his mouth, the market tanks. I don't think he comes across as "encouraging."
3. The irrational anger surrounding these campaigns has reached absurd levels. Now people are publicly trashing the real "Joe the Plumber." Since when can't a person, a voter, a constituent ask a valid question of a candidate without being drawn into the negativity of these campaigns?
4. The utter arrogance of the extremely wealthy top 1% of our population, like Warren Buffett, who wrote an op-ed in the New York Times yesterday advising Americans to buy American stocks. He says he is.... Really? Good for Mr. Buffett, but for most people I know, there's nothing left to buy stocks with after paying their monthly bills, buying gasoline to get to work and feeding their families.
5. Sock balls...
Tom swears he doesn't do it. He says he takes his socks off and pulls them out straight before he puts them in the laundry. No he doesn't and I now have the pictures to prove it. When I go to put the whites in the washer and come across these little gems, I just snarl under my breath (and sometimes aloud) because when I have to pull them out straight so they will actually get clean when laundered, sawdust, dirt or grass flies everywhere... all over the washer, the floor, me. Grrrr. I hate sock balls.
Some Things I Just Don't Get:
1. Did you happen to catch Suzie Orman on some news channel this week? Was it CNN or MSNBC, or CNBC? I don't remember. Anyway, when asked what advice she would give the "average" person to help us survive these bad economic times, she said, "Pay off your credit cards and have a savings cushion in the bank that is equal to 8 months salary, not including retirement savings." I'm not kidding. She actually said 8 freakin' months. Now, just for example, if a person takes home $50,000 a year, that would be a mere $32,000. Who are these experts really targeting? How many people do you know who can save that kind of money, over and above what they save for their home purchase? I think these experts are completely out of touch, not unlike our current administration.
2. Hold the tomatoes... Dancing with the Stars. Sorry. I just don't get why it's so popular.
3. The protesters at Katie Holmes' Broadway debut. They weren't protesting Ms. Holmes acting ability, or the play or playwright, or the theater, or the management, or the actors union. They were protesting Scientology because Katie Holmes (we assume) is married to Tom Cruise (who is outspoken about his belief in Scientology) and she (we assume) practices Scientology in her private life. Now, it's a free country and I suppose anyone can protest anything, but geez...
4. You know that $700 Billion we are throwing to banks to supposedly free up credit to help the average potential homeowner get a mortgage? Well, it seems it might have had the opposite effect. According to a report on MSNBC this morning, mortgage rates have risen. Hmmmm.
5. It never ceases to amaze me how worked up people get about gay marriage. In California, even after a California Supreme Court ruling legalized same-sex marriage, there is yet another ballot initiative that would ban gay marriage. I have to just shake my head. So, you don't agree with same-sex marriage. Okay, you can disagree and you definitely do not have to participate. No one is demanding that you do so. But why not let it stop at that. What personal stake do these detractors have in striking down a law allowing others to live as they choose, peacefully and legally. How in the world does the manner in which a gay couple lives affect how these detractors choose to live their own lives? Same-sex marriage, to my knowledge, doesn't trounce on or squash or encroach on anyone's right to choose heterosexual marriage or any other rights, for that matter. If someone has a reasonable, thoughtful and coherent argument, I sure would like to hear it because I haven't heard anything yet that even comes close.
I am feeling extremely lazy. I'm also feeling extremely hesitant to write anything for fear that it will come across as angry, since I'm feeling rather cranky today. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I write or how I write it, someone will twist it, warp it's meaning or distort the conclusion. So words do not come easy these days while I'm feeling vulnerable and raw.
Yeah, I know. You think I'm holding back. Well, actually I'm not. I write stuff in my private diary, where I keep my most intimate thoughts and feelings.
Anyway, as I travel the internet, perusing blogs and such, I copy interesting meme's for use at times like these, when I feel like I need a little push. I don't remember where I got this one, but I'm using it just the same.
I am not: a liar, nor am I a stupid or terrible person, no matter what some people may think
I hear: the television in the kitchen ~ Good Morning America
I regret: so many little things in my life, but I have realized I can't undo whatever I've done
I care: when I really shouldn't
I always: look for the good in people
I long to: be retired
I feel alone: sometimes, but Tom doesn't let me feel like that for very long
I hide: my disappointment sometimes
I drive: as little as possible and when I do drive, I try to always drive my most economical car
I sing: when I'm driving or cleaning the house
I dance: but it's not pretty
I write: because I need to get all this stuff out of my head
I breathe: to live
I play: in my garden and yard
I miss: living near family, but I'm not willing to jeopardize my future to do so
I search: within and I'm always self-examining
I say: very little when I'm part of a crowd; I am the consummate introvert
I feel: old today.
I succeed(ed): at having a loving marriage
I fail(ed): at being a good mom
I dream: of traveling someday
I sleep: on the left side of the bed
I wonder: why people feel the need to belittle, degrade and vilify those people with whom they disagree
I want: to improve the quality of my health
I worry: about everything
I have: everything I need, materially
I give: as much as I am able, usually to my detriment
I fight: rarely. There is very little worth fighting over that can't be resolved in other ways
I am: going to apply for a job, even though I'm old
I can’t: hide that I feel things deeply and some people take advantage of that
I stay: at Hampton Inns when I travel
I will: always reject hateful, sarcastic and bullying behavior, overt or covert
I can: be a drama queen, although Tom is quick to call me on it
I would: be happy anywhere, I think
I might: take a photography class in the spring
I like: learning anything new
I love: Tom
I smile: when I watch Jon & Kate Plus 8
I frown: when Tom turns on the television to watch the news
I read: anything that interests me, as long as it is well written and thoughtful, even if I disagree with the writer
I work: at trying to be a good person
Today my husband, Tom, is 63 years old.
He was a cute kid, don't you think?. He looked much like any kid you would live next door to during the 1950's.
And he grew up with the same values and goals of most boys of his generation. He wanted a loving family, a successful and rewarding career, fun hobbies and the possibility to enjoy a retirement at the end of his career.
As Tom aged, he grew taller, maybe a little rounder, balder, but significantly hairier elsewhere and his heart grew bigger.
Tom is one of the most loving and generous people I have ever known. He would willingly and happily give up something for himself to give to one of his children, grandchildren or any other family member.
In the photo below he is dressed in a tuxedo, ready to host the Christmas party he wanted to give our families and friends in 1990.
He has achieved most of his goals in life, with a few bumps and detours along the way. He worked in a cabinet shop while in college, spent 4 years in the Air Force, worked in a very young technology industry when we first got married, worked as a clerk for the post office for less than a year and was a policeman for 10 years in a large San Francisco bay area city, but he has owned his own business for the last 25 years and loves it. He is very happy with what he does for a living and is proud of his reputation in the construction community, although more and more he talks of retirement. He loves his family without condition and wants to spend more time with his grandchildren when he retires... or mostly likely semi-retires. And, he loves his hobbies ~ either sailing or being on our ski boat. He is happiest on the water...
We won't be spending his birthday on one of our boats. He worked today. When our son, Chris, called him this morning to wish him a happy birthday, he asked Tom if his "boss" was going to give him the day off for his birthday. Tom said, no, his "boss" is a real task master and made him work. But, honestly, he doesn't mind working at all. He never has. His productivity defines him in very significant ways.
He didn't want me to buy him anything for his birthday. He says he has everything he wants, but when his family gathered for their reunion in July, his brother, Chuck, gave him a Rodders Journal magazine and Tom has read it from cover to cover at least twice, so I got him a subscription and a Rodders Journal t-shirt. And, tonight I will make him dinner, the food he specifically requested, particularly the Chocolate Flan cake that he loves so much. He will act like it's the best birthday he's ever had and I've done him a huge favor, when, in reality he's done a favor for me. He's allowed me to live my life with him.
Happy Birthday, Honey. I love you...
I don't think I will being doing Some Things Friday today. I have a lot of errands to do. But I wanted to leave you with something for weekend and I found just the right thing.
I have been searching the internet and putting together a list of Arkansas blogs with the hope of presenting them for publication in our local newspaper.
Now, when you start searching around the "backroads" (so to speak) of Arkansas, you never know what you will find.
This morning I found Cookin' It Up with Hillbilly Willy and as I scrolled down the page, passing Seafood Gumbo, Mushroom Merlot Burger, Dangerous Chocolate Chip Cookies, I came across his recipe for... honest to God.... no kidding.... Taaa Daaa!!
Cajun Squirrel Stew
With tasty references to "Squirrel Brains - a Delicacy in the Hills of Arkansas."
See. I told you. You just can't make this stuff up.
Obviously, I have major misgivings about using that particular quote since it refers to the "best man," rather than the "best person," thereby completely dismissing the possibility of a woman candidate. However, being a person of big heart and personal generosity, in addition to the fact that Mr. Hubbard died in 1930, a number of years before I burned my bra and wrote letters to my representatives demanding that they vote to pass the Equal Rights Amendment, I will cut him some slack.
That said, the spirit of that particular quote seems extremely apropos this election and, now that I mention it, even the last presidential election. I'm getting tired of holding my nose while I vote. Luckily, the voting machines only require using one hand.
In my sincere effort to distract myself from the constant drone of CNN, MSNBC, Wolf "Uh,Uh" Blitzer, Chris Matthews (and his ever-spitty lips...ewwww!), John King (and his nifty, "ain't I cool" electoral map), Joe Scarborough (the only right-wing former politician I know with a sense of humor) and all four of the ever-boring, over-exposed, self-involved, bull shit spewing candidates, I have instead tried to wade through the myriad of food and cooking blogs to which I subscribe or have bookmarked. Wouldn't you know it, even my foodie friends have digressed into politics.
This post from Krysta @ Evil Chef Mom rings true for me and it has nothing to do with food or cooking. Although it is called Five Steps of A Political Junkie, it really should be called Five Steps of A Recovering Political Junkie.
Five Steps of A Political Junkie:
1. Excitement: Oh yes, you know this feeling too well, don't you? This is how they get you hooked, my friend. Excitement for your candidate. Excitement for the preliminary process. The 10 men entering the ring and only one comes out alive process. A little dirty but otherwise intact and ready for the main bout.
2. The Seriousness: Again, you know all about The Seriousness, also known as the training montage in movies. The watching of t.v. stations, the devouring of newspapers and magazines, hours spent reading political blogs. Knowing both your candidate and the enemies voting record and stances on issues...verbatim. You are scarily prepared.
3. Anger and Insults: This is when it becomes an addiction instead of being a well informed citizen. Did you throw things at the t.v. during the debate? Yes, you are addicted. Anger comes in many forms but mostly yelling. Yelling at your own candidate? Yelling at the pundits on t.v.? Are your children calling each other politician's names instead of butthead or moron*? Then you have a problem. It's okay, I've been there I can help. (I consider myself quite fortunate that I no longer have children at home who might adopt my less than civilized political behavior. In the throws of a debate or speech, it's just not pretty.)
4. Resignation: You are starting to recover from the political addiction when you feel a weird wave of calm wash over you. All you want is for a politician, even your own, to answer a question, any question straightforwardly. (However, they forgot to mention that this is the stage where you actually STOP screaming at the television, "Answer the f**king question!")
5. Acceptance: Or maybe it's just fatigue. No one is going to answer a question because it's too risky. Maybe things will change, maybe they won't. Who knows?
McCain: Blah, blah, blah. My friends. Blah, blah, blah. Pork and taxes. Blah, blah, blah. Iraq. Blah, blah, blah.
Obama: Blah, blah, blah. We must unite. Blah, blah, blah. We have work to do. Blah, blah, blah. Taxes. Blah, blah, blah.
For an hour and a half. I wanted to scream at them. . .instead of screaming at the television.
Screw them both...
According to "Breaking News" on CNN.com:
Bernanke: Economic Outlook Weaker
Fed chairman says financial crisis will dampen economy well into 2009...
Decisions, decisions, decisions. Everyone must make them, but it seems it is easier for other people than it is for me. I never used to be like this.
When I worked in mid- and upper- management, I made decisions every day, on the spot, no problem. Now my mind is muddled, foggy and indecisive. What happened? I guess I just got older. I guess I have finally realized that big decisions have big impact and you can't ever take it back or re-do it.
When we decided to move back to northern California/northern Nevada in 2001 (we lived in Incline Village, Nevada for a year), we talked about it, hashed it over and over and over, before we made the decision. We knew that we couldn't afford to make a bad decision that late in our life. We were already in our mid-50's. But, we missed living near family. Time off was a struggle, particularly for me. Summer was our busiest time at the university and summer was only time our grandchildren had very much free time. Then there was the time and expense of constantly having to travel to one coast or the other. We gave up everything else to do that every holiday, every summer vacation. I always had 2 weeks off around Christmas and New Years, then I would use my vacation for the summer, if I could get away at all during that time. During those years, all I wanted was a "staycation." I craved just staying home and relaxing. I wanted to enjoy the Christmas parade (as podunk and small as it was). I wanted to put up a Christmas tree and lights and enjoy them. I wanted to bake tons of cookies and cook a Christmas turkey and enjoy the leftovers for days afterward. I wanted to welcome friends in for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. I guess I needed to turn my "wanter" down.
So, that was our primary motivation to move from Arkansas. We would be able to enjoy being close to at least one of our sons, enjoy our home more and only have to travel to one coast to see our other son and grandkids. So, we leaped. Huge mistake. We moved about 7 days before our house was supposed to close escrow, assured by everyone involved that everything would go smoothly. We were dumb to believe it and it didn't happen. When the sale did fall through, we put our house back on the market, but were stuck supporting two places, our house in Arkansas and our apartment in Incline Village on basically the same income level. We weren't enjoying much, we were stressed most of the time, and our house in Arkansas just sat on the market for nearly a year.
Several months after moving to Incline Village, we visited my mom in Las Vegas and found her in complete disarray and having deteriorated mentally. We had to make some quick decisions. We could not, in any good conscious, leave my mom by herself. We spent the entire weekend cleaning her apartment. I don't think she had cleaned since she moved into that apartment 8 months before. There were dirty dishes all over the kitchen, crawling with cockroaches. Mom had appliances plugged into extension cords crossing all over the kitchen and she was covered with bruises after having fallen repeatedly when she tripped over them. There were boxes all over the living room and bedrooms, left unpacked from her move months earlier. Mom had been sleeping on her couch since she moved in because her bed was stolen during her move. I found unpaid bills strewn everywhere. She had pawned a lot of her jewelry to pay her phone and power bills and, even though my sister, Kim, loaned her money to get her jewelry out of hock, my mom would only hock them again to pay the next bill. One of the unpaid bills I found was a final notice to pay the power, which was scheduled to be shut off again in 15 days. The final straw was her car. She had hit a stop sign coming home from my sister's house one evening after dark and dented the entire passenger side of her car. Bless her heart, she was so confused and so clearly unable to care for herself.
Even though we were living in a small, one-bedroom apartment attached to the house Mike & Kathy rented, we could not let my mom stay by herself. We went home, bought a single bed which we set up against one wall in our small living room and went back to Las Vegas the next weekend and moved Mom in with us. We gave most of her furniture, appliances and such to her neighbors and anything left, other than her clothing (which was almost non-existent), we put in the storage unit we were already renting for our excess furniture. Then what? Well, that's how we lived for a few months.
I never thought throughout the whole ordeal that I would have considered myself lucky that the sale of our nice, big house in Arkansas had not only fallen through, but remained unsold the entire year. I would crawl into bed every night and cry and pray and cry and pray. I'm not catholic. I don't even know if I really, truly believe in God, but I'd pray. I looked on the internet for prayers, and printed a prayer to St. Jude, Patron Saint of Hopeless or Lost Causes. Boy, that felt like me - hopeless. I memorized that prayer and said it twice a day, once in the morning and once at night. I didn't think it really helped because I did not want to make the obvious decision to merely pack up and move back into that house. My prayer was always to sell that damn house, sell it, sell it, sell it.
What opened my eyes was a conversation with our attorney in Little Rock. Marian was representing us in a case against the former buyer of our house. We had to fly to Little Rock in late August for depositions.
We decided to stay at our house and our neighbor and friend, Lana, made up a bed on a mattress she put on the floor in our bedroom, put a folding table and chairs in the dining room and towels and wash cloth in the bathroom. When we arrived at the house, we knew why it hadn't sold. Even though Lana mowed our 3 acres of grass every single week to keep the house presentable on the outside, the realtor allowed the interior of the house to collect cobwebs and the toilets to mold. The inside of the house was disgusting and I was just plain pissed off. I had not expected our realtor to clean the house, but I sure expected him to let me know it needed cleaning. Needless to say, he didn't show his face the entire 4 days we were there.
We arrived late on a Thursday afternoon, spent most of the evening cleaning the house, then drove to Little Rock for our depositions on Friday morning. We met briefly with Marian before the depositions, then afterward went back to her office for further consultation. After some discussion, Tom left the room to make some phone calls and I stayed and talked with Marian. She asked how things were going and I was honest. I told her they weren't going well, we were financially stretched very, very thin and I told her about my mom.
She asked, "Terri, do y'all have a retirement account?"
"Yes," I said, thinking she was going to suggest that we completely liquidate it.
She paused for a moment and said, "Let this lawsuit go. Let me ask them to settle. You don't need the additional stress. Terri, you are well known and respected in your field and you know you can get a job here. Tom had clients before he left and he'll have clients if he comes back. Why don't you just withdraw enough money from your retirement to move back? You'll have an affordable, comfortable home, a lot less stress and be able to comfortably take care of your mom. I went through the same thing with my mom. It's harder than you think it is right now."
It wasn't until that very moment that I knew she was right and I will forever be grateful for her very smart, very kind words and for stating the obvious solution that Tom and I had completely ignored.
We did exactly what she suggested. We priced a moving truck, gas, hotels, etc., pulled enough money out of our retirement to cover it and moved back home.
And, Marian was right. It did get harder with my mom. For just under a year until her death, we cared for her and watched her deteriorate even further. It really was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Yes, I said we moved "back home." We moved from our home - California - in January, 1993. It has been a culture shock, to be sure. Back in April, I read an essay penned by a foodie friend, Alison of Someone's in the Kitchen, who also relocated to Arkansas a few years back and whose words resonated for me. She wrote in part:
"Extreme agitation set in about five years ago when Captain Sturm and I relocated to the wasteland that I now call home. It was something that I tried to ignore, tried to smother, tried to deny existed in me but as I have learned, we cannot deny who we truly are. Soon after our move, I felt trapped...bored...unstimulated...The reality of living here has not even come close to meeting the expectations of my life as I thought it would be. I used to live in a place where words like "metro" and "expressway" were part of everyday conversation. Discretionary income was something that everyone had. Meeting friends and co-workers at a local hangout after work for a chocolate martini or three was a weekly occurrence. Diversity abounded. Movie theaters had stadium seating. My heart, my mind, and my soul were fulfilled."
We are leaving for Memphis today and I have just finished picking out the outfit I will wear to the theater. I need a break.
I have been known to over-pack, but Tom would consider that an understatement. For example, for a week's vacation in Florida, I have in the past packed a dozen pairs of flip-flops and shoes from which to choose and wound up wearing only two pair the entire trip. But I can't help myself. I want to be... need to be... have to be... prepared.
So I am picking out my clothes for this trip. To put it all in perspective, I need something to wear for the trip there; something to wear to the theater tonight (already chosen); and something to wear for the trip home tomorrow. Three outfits. And I still need a break.
Our conversation went something like this:
Tom: Are we going to need a hanging bag?
Me: I don't know. I don't know what I am going to wear yet, but if you want one, go ahead and get one.
I continue pulling things out of the closet and trying them on over my pants and t-shirt...
Tom: Okay, here's my stuff. I have something for today, something for tonight, and something for tomorrow.
Me: (still pulling stuff out of the closet) Already?? Your done?? Okay, let me try this on...
Tom: Should I go rent a U-haul?
I just can't do it. I'm not feelin' it today. So I am going to take the low road, cheat and use a meme I found. Pathetic, I know, but it did ask some pretty unusual questions.
92 Things
1. What color are your kitchen plates? Which ones? The red square plates; the white square plates; the multi-colored Italian design red, white and blue plates; the round tan plates with painted grapes, fruits and vines plates; the vintage Fiestaware plates; the white with gold border designs plates? As I’ve said before, I have a little obsession.
2. What book are you reading now? A cookbook, actually. “Hallelujah! The Welcome Table” by Maya Angelou
3. What’s on your mouse pad? I don’t use a mouse pad. I have a Logitech TrackMan Wheel. The ball is on top
4. What’s your favorite board game? Scrabble, and I kick butt!
5. Favorite magazine? Cottage Living
6. Favorite smell? Tom… second choice, lavender
7. Least favorite smell? Ammonia
8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? What time is it?
10. Least favorite color? Probably brown. I don’t look good in brown.
11. How many rings before you answer the phone? I don’t carry the phone around with me from room to room, so it takes me a couple of rings to get to it…at least 2, maybe 3
12. Future child’s name? I won’t be having any other children. I will leave that to my children, but I don't think they are going there again either.
13. What is most important in life, after God and family? Friends, service to your community or country.
14. Favorite sound? Silence. There is so little of it.
15. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla, but my absolute favorite is vanilla malt. Mmmmm.
16. Do you like to drive fast? Yes, I admit it. But I've noticed that I've slowed down some the last few years. I guess I am just not in that much of a hurry anymore. That feels good.
17. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, I sleep with my husband, Tom.
18. Storms: Cool or scary? When the lightening and thunder wake me up in the middle of the night – scary. When I am already awak – cool.
19. What type was your first car? I didn’t have my own car until I married Tom
20. If you could meet one person, dead or alive? Wow, only one? Bill Clinton, hands down.
21. What is your sign and your birthday? Gemini, June 14th
22. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yes, why not?
23. If you could have any job, what would it be? Travel writer
24. If you could have any color hair, what would it be? I bleached my hair blonde on my 18th birthday and dyed it just about every color imaginable since then... blonde, strawberry, auburn, red, brown, frosted...but I kind of like my gray hair now. Or maybe I'm just sick of messing with it all the time because I have better things to do. Or maybe a combination of the two. I'll keep you posted.
25. Have you ever been in love? Very… still am.
26. Is the glass half full or half empty? Depends on the glass and what’s in it.
27. What is your favorite movie? I have so many, it's too hard to name just one. Love Actually, Man on Fire, Hotel Rwanda, Chronicles of Narnia. We have a movie library in our den.
28. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? You mean as opposed to hunt and peck? Yes. I took my first typing class when I was a sophomore in high school.
29. What's under your bed? Probably some dust bunnies.
30. What is your favorite number? 19, the date of our anniversary this month.
31. Favorite sport to watch? I’m not really that into sports, but I will watch ice skating and gymnastics occasionally on television. In person, I like football and women's basketball.
32. What is your single biggest fear? Dying alone. It may sound selfish, but I want my family nearby.
33. Favorite CD? Which month? I really like John Mellencamp’s new CD.
34. Favorite TV show? John & Kate plus 8, The Closer, Saving Grace, Gray’s Anatomy, Survivor, Dirty Sexy Money, Private Practice
35. Ketchup or mustard? Probably mustard.
36. Hamburgers or hotdogs? Hot dogs... with mustard.
37. Favorite soft drink? Diet Vanilla Pepsi, which has been discontinued!! So now I make my own by adding a little sugar-free vanilla syrup.
38. The best place you have ever been? Everywhere I went when Tom and I took our first vacation to Long Boat Key, Florida.
39. What screen saver is on your computer right now? I created a file of copies of Susan Rios paintings.
40. Burger King or McDonalds? Burger King chicken sandwich
41. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? No, but sadly I admit that I've been pretty darn drunk.
42. Missed school or work because it was raining? Yes. When we lived in the country, our gravel road would flood when it rained really, really hard all night long. I think I couldn’t get down our street twice in 15 years.
43. Been hurt emotionally? It is completely unavoidable if you have any feelings at all.
44. Kept a secret from everyone? Yes, ever since I was a child, but I finally told Tom about 3 years ago.
45. Had an imaginary friend? No, but I do talk to myself sometimes. Oh, and I also yell at the television.
46. Cried during a movie? Nearly every single one I’ve ever seen. Hey, I cry at commercials!
47. Had a crush on a teacher? No, not that I can recall.
48. Ever thought an animated character was hot? Uh, no.
49. Had a New Kids on the Block tape? Yes.
50. Been on stage? Not as a performer, but as an announcer for a program for the college where I worked.
51. Cut your hair? Routinely
--------------FAVORITES------------------
52. Shampoo: Biofusion Organics, Eucalyptus & Lavender
53. Soap: Olay Body Wash
54. Color: I love lime green and black together.
55. Day/Night: Day, especially early morning
56. Summer/Winter: Summer
57. Lace or satin: Lace
59. Cartoon Characters: I don’t watch cartoons
60. Favorite food: That's a tough one. I like all kinds of foods, but generally my favorite is some sort of pasta.
61. Ice Cream: Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch
62. Favorite College Subject: A toss up – Political Science or Business Law
63. Favorite Persons to talk to online: My family
---------------RIGHT NOW------------------
64. Wearing: Shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops. It's still in the 70's here.
65. Hair is: Kinda messy, growing out, bugging me
66. I'm feeling: Blah...
67. Eating: Nothing
68. Drinking: Coffee
69. Thinking about: These questions
70. Talking to: Nobody… no one is here except me and Goldie
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
71. Cried: Yes, a couple of times
72. Wore a skirt: No
73. Met someone new: No
74. Cleaned your room: Actually yes
75. Done laundry: Yes, from my bedroom
76. Drove a car: Yes, lots of errands
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
77. Yourself: Most of the time
78. Your friends: Yes
79. Santa Clause: Naw, but I would never tell my young grandchildren that
80. Destiny/Fate: I think everything a person does creates their own destiny. If everything was predestined, what would be the point of free will?
81. Angels: Naw, not really
82. Ghosts: Honestly, I don’t know
83. UFO's: I believe there is a possibility
-----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
84. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I have a husband. A boyfriend would not be appropriate, to say the least.
85. Who's the shyest family member or friend: Melissa
86. Who's the loudest: Tom. He just talks loud.
87. Who's the weirdest: Jacob, but in a good way. He’s clearly finding his own identity.
88. Who do you go to for advice: I don’t ask for advice, I ask for feedback and input. Well, okay, sometimes I say to Tom, "Tell me what to dooooooo!!!" But that's just mostly whining.
89. Who do you cry to? To myself, mostly, then to Tom.
90. When do you cry the most: Thinking about Mike
91. What's the best feeling(s) in the world: Being hugged by Tom, my sons or grandkids.
92. Worst feeling(s): Feeling like Mike could care less if he or his family ever sees or hears from me again.... and here I go... crying again.
So, that's it. Now you know more about me than you ever wanted to. It's time to get ready for the weekend. Tomorrow we leave for Memphis to see the musical, Avenue Q. I'll check in when I return. Have a great weekend everybody.
Russ Feingold (D-Wisconsin) said this morning:
"I will oppose the Wall Street bailout plan because though well intentioned, and certainly much improved over the administration's original proposal, it remains deeply flawed. It fails to offset the cost of the plan, leaving taxpayers to bear the burden of serious lapses of judgment by private financial institutions, their regulators, and the enablers in Washington who paved the way for this catastrophe by removing the safeguards that had protected consumers and the economy since the great depression. The bailout legislation also fails to reform the flawed regulatory structure that permitted this crisis to arise in the first place. And it doesn't do enough to address the root cause of the credit market collapse, namely the housing crisis. Taxpayers deserve a plan that puts their concerns ahead of those who got us into this mess."
I emailed him just a moment ago to thank him for his position and leadership.
Every channel, every program, every radio station. I am so sick of it. I am sick of all of "them," the talking heads on the left and right and in the middle.
I am not going to pretend that I get everything about this $700 Billion bailout, but it pisses me off... even if we need it, it still pisses me off. I'm sick hearing about the doom and gloom if it's not passed. I'm sick of the lack of leadership. Somebody ought to ram a boot up Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank and John Boehner's asses and kick them out of Congress. And the same goes for the assholes in the Senate who voted for the bailout only after it was filled with an additional $150 Billion in new tax breaks for... get this... rum producers in Puerto Rico, race tracks, wooden arrows, and wool. What the hell is this about and what does it have to do with bailing out the economy??
Did you watch the first Presidential debate? How many times did you nod off? Obama vs. McCain = snoozer. Absolutely no excitement or passion and even less information. After the election, I never, ever again want to hear the words "My Friends" or "Let me be clear". Senator McCain, I am not your freaking friend, I'm a voter. Senator Obama, if you have to say "let me be clear," you are not being clear, so try being clear right out of the chute!
Then, of course, there is the Vice Presidential debate tonight and all the hype and rhetoric that surrounds it. Sarah Palin has been so bad lately, I truly would like to see her do well. It will be too painful to watch otherwise. Not that she needs anything from me, but I have some advice for Governor Palin. Ignore your handlers. They haven't been doing you any favors lately. Don't sweat the small stuff or worry about the details of your general answers. You're not a policy wonk, so don't try to be. You will obviously not be the most knowledgeable person in the room and, at this point in the game, you will never convince any of that. You might even want to acknowledge it and move on. Your strength is your personality and persona. Be a confident politician, regardless of what others think or say. And, be grateful your opponent is only the old wind bag, Joe Biden, and even more thankful that you don't have to debate Hillary Clinton.
There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein. ~ Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith
"Writing isn't a profession; it's a disease." ~ Sherwood Schwartz
"Running a close second [as a writing lesson] was the realization that stopping a piece of work just because it's hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position." ~ Stephen King
![Joe - Our Mostly Maltese](<a href="http://s93.photobucket.com/albums/l80/grandmasrandomthoughts/Diary%20Blog/?action=view¤t=Joe2-101a.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l80/grandmasrandomthoughts/Diary%20Blog/Joe2-101a.jpg" border="0" alt="Joe - Feb 2010"></a>)
